Taken

His hands moved to her hips, taking her, pushing her, and she gasped, groaned, begged, please, please, his name rolling off her tongue over and over like water. I saw her slide her fingers into her pussy as he fucked her. My own fingers on my clit worked furiously, unable to believe the stretch of her, taking him, again and again, imagining what it must feel like to be so wide open in such a vulnerable place. And then Sarah was coming, rubbing herself and coming hard. I saw her muscles squeezing, squeezing him.

David moaned, and somehow crossed a line, calling her name. He slid his cock almost all the way out of her, letting that ring of flesh rub just against the tip of him, in and out, and then he was coming, too. I watched him flood out of her, the sticky white stuff sliding slowly down her slit toward where her fingers were pressed to her clit. The sight of his cum, seeing his head thrown back, watching his cock pulse and twitch, sent me over my own edge, and I let my orgasm ease its way through me slowly, throbbing, trembling, until I collapsed on the rug next to Sarah, moving in to share her pillow.

She smiled, looking at me through half-closed eyes. “Was it worth it?” she whispered hoarsely. I looked up at David, still holding her hips and looking down at both of us. His eyes were on her, like he could swallow her whole. I had a feeling this was going to cost me a great deal, but I just whispered, “yes,” and kissed her cheek.

David made his way down to the pillow between us, pulling us both in, and we fit perfectly against his chest. I think we dozed, on and off, but we made love for hours again that night, she and he and I, in so many ways and so many positions I forgot where any of us began or ended.

And we were together a few more times that summer, but something was growing large between David and Sarah, and edging me further out. When I left for college that year, my goodbye to Sarah was bittersweet. She was nonchalant about it, but I like to think now it was just a defense, that she didn’t really want to let me go. My goodbye to David was harder, somehow. He held me and rocked me and I knew he knew, how much I loved them both, how much I wanted, how impossible it all was.

I never saw them again, after all that. We said we’d keep in touch, but life happened. And, as Sarah once said, it pretty much sucked. And it kept on sucking. Tim and I broke up, and I found a new boyfriend, someone older, more experienced. Then Sarah moved out of state. She gave me a forwarding address, but I couldn’t find the words to write. It just wasn’t the same. I don’t know if David went with her, or perhaps…she went with David.

But sometimes in the middle of the night, hearing the couple in the apartment above me, or soaking in a warm bath, I’ll flush and remember, and I imagine they are together, still that way, surrendered and one and complete.

I cling to that hope.