Темное, кривое зеркало. Том 3 : След на песке.(ЛП)

"Kazomi Seven," said Morden. "A…. um, what's the phrase…. 'a wretched hive of scum and villainy' for years, now the base of an interstellar United Alliance of Races. A place of hope and…. well, promise for the future."

"I…. hadn't heard anything about an alliance. I…."

"Of course you hadn't," Edgars said. "The Resistance Government controls the vertical, the horizontal and the diagonal. There are a great many things happening out in the galaxy which are not being made public. The events on Kazomi Seven being only one example."

"Jeffrey's there…. and you want me to…." Something else became clear. "Oh, my God. That's why you killed Dan, isn't it? You wanted me…. unencumbered!" She looked at Edgars. "That's why you asked me if I was seeing anyone. You want me to…. start things up again with Jeff…. provide some sort of link to him."

There was silence.

"You bastards," she whispered. "You cold…. I don't care. I'm having nothing to do with this. I'm not going to be controlled by you, or anyone, or…." A rage so intense, so strong, so powerful as to blot out everything else engulfed her. She turned and began half-striding, half-running into the darkness, towards what she presumed was a door.

"We cannot allow that, I'm afraid," Morden said, almost sadly.

The air began to change, and Catherine turned, instinctively.

The Vorlon's encounter suit began to open….

* * *

Their silence had been both comfortable and comforting for a long time, as the two of them watched the city complex at night. But finally, as lights dimmed, and as the darkness grew deeper, Valen began to feel oppressed by the silence.

It was strange, he thought. There had been many times when he had sat alone, not talking, only thinking. Some of his lieutenants had been worried about him, especially Marrain and Parlonn and Rashok. Derannimer had understood, though. She alone had understood him completely.

He spoke at last, a point of insight, a matter of simple observation, and also a hint of an intimate, Vorlon connection, all compelling him to say:

"You are tired."

Lyta started and looked at him. "What did you say?" she whispered.

"You are tired. Of living. You grieve. You go on. You try to endure. But…. you are tired."

Her throat dry, she could only nod. "Yes. Y…. yes."

Softly: "What was his name?"

"Marcus."

"He must have been a good man."

"He was. A very good man."

A pause, a hush in the conversation. He waited for her to speak, knowing she would eventually do so, now that he had shown her he was not afraid to listen.

"He…. died." Another pause. A longer one. "He died saving me." She shook her head. "So…. so pointless. So unnecessary! I'd been walking in…. in shadows all my life and for one moment I knew what it was like to be in the light. Then it went out and I was back in the shadows again."

"Shadows only exist when there is light to form them." He remembered saying that to someone else once, long ago. Someone else in grief and in pain. He wondered if his words could mean as much now.

"If it wasn't for Delenn…. She…. needed me, at one point. She's all right now though. She's…. found her own light. I should be happy for her, why can't I be? All I feel is…. is this nothing. I can't even feel hatred any more. Not for Captain Sheridan — he was the one who…. who put Marcus in a situation where he could get killed. Not even for…. the person who killed him. Nothing."

"Hatred would not erase your grief."

"But at least it would be something! Something to keep me going beyond the voices in my head when I sleep, beyond the dreams, beyond…."

"Voices? The Vorlons."

She nodded. "That's me. Vorlon carrying case."

"I also. But then you know that. You are no more a Vorlon puppet than I, Lyta Alexander. Grief can…. be devastating, but it does not last forever. Remember your Marcus, remember his smile, his voice…. whatever you have. Remember him, and move on. Find a purpose, a place where you belong, and then…. Well, all will not be well, but it will be better."

"Be careful. I might start believing your press releases and think maybe you are Valen."

"I am, torn from the world I know, into one I do not. It has been twelve years since my last human memory. I am more Valen, more prophet than human now. I look before me, and see a row of footsteps in the sand…. my footsteps. And I see a hooded figure waiting with an axe…. and that figure is me. I am walking towards my own destruction, and I know that there is nothing I can do to avoid my fate.

"Soon, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a decade, I will go back in time to live out my role then. I will look at Marrain as he first greets me, and I will know of his eventual betrayal. I will meet Parlonn and see his face eaten away by despair and anger. I will bring the Tak'cha into my alliance, knowing of the follies they will absorb from my words. I will know every failure, every wrong decision that I made, and I will be powerless to change any of them, because they have already happened.