Темное, кривое зеркало. Том 5 : Средь звезд, подобно гигантам.(ЛП)

We have been over this, Sheridan. You don't know who you are. Look, we have stripped everything away, you and I. All that remains is the darkness, a tiny light, the mirror, and yourself. Shorn of all encumbrances and burdens and duties. Here of all places you can surely know who you are.

"How can any of us answer that question?"

Very well, then. Another question. A different one. Who do you want to be?

"My father," he replied instantly. "I want to be my father."

The one who joined the Shadows, who allied with them, fought for them, sent countless millions to their deaths in their cause?

"No. That man was not my father. That man was someone who once had been my father. I want to be my father as he was when I was a child."

Both men are one and the same, surely. The man you remember became the man who served the Shadows. The man who served the Shadows still had some of the man who poured water on to your roof at night to help you sleep. Which man was real, and which the illusion?

"They were both real, and whatever he did, he was still my father. I forgave him, at the end."

After all he did, you still forgive him?

"Yes."

You believe in redemption, then? You believe that a man might be forgiven his sins, his errors, whether intentional or not — they can all be forgiven and atoned for? Any man can seek redemption?

Or any woman?

"I...."

Can you be forgiven, Sheridan? The things you did, is there absolution for them?

"I...."

You forgave your father. Why not yourself? What is it you have done that you cannot forgive, Sheridan? You killed Minbari, a great many of them, but that was war. You sent people to die in your war, but that was for a greater cause, was it not? You took up arms against your own people, but it was for their own good. You killed your wife on the deck of your own ship, but that was just a misunderstanding. Not your fault at all. You left Delenn and your unborn child on Z'ha'dum, but your instincts told you she was dead, and you did not know she was pregnant, so what blame there?

What can you not forgive, Sheridan?

No answer, not for me.... not for yourself. No answer....

"I.... I can't.... I can't forgive any of...." Sheridan looked up. The mirror was empty. He reached forward to touch it and it shattered at his touch. Behind it lay a small walking stick, topped with silver. He made to pick it up, but it was impossibly hot to his touch.

"Where are you?" he called. "Where are you?"

There was no answer.

* * *

Senna lay quietly on the bed, staring up at the grey ceiling. The pain in her back had lessened, but it had never really gone away. She doubted it ever would. Still, sometimes she was glad of it. The pain there was physical, easily attributable to something clear and obvious. The other types of pain she was feeling were not so easy to forget.

They were travelling through hyperspace now. The entire fleet. A group of monsters and traitors and cowards. They were going to attack Centauri Prime.

Her homeworld.

Her home.

And they were being led by the man who should have been defending her people against them.

Her cheek still stung, her lip was red and bleeding. The blow had taken her completely by surprise, and it had been a very long time before she had stopped shaking. She had not thought he would....