The adulteress

"I saw you," I said. "It's no use denying it. I saw you with the pail. You were carrying it ... Jake had a bundle of something. I saw you making for the Hassock farm."

There was a deep silence.

Then Dickon said: "It's all silly. It was only a game. We didn't mean to set fire to the old barn."

"But you did," I said. "And you made Jake go with you. And then you left him to take the blame."

"Oh, we'll pay for the damage that was done to the barn," said Sabrina.

"Of course," I replied, "but that doesn't settle the matter."

"It does," said Dickon.

"Oh, no. You have to tell Ned Carter that his boy was not to blame."

"Oh, what a silly lot of trouble about nothing," he said.

I looked at him steadily. "I don't think it is nothing," I said. I went on: "Ned, you can go now. It was not Jake's fault, remember that. He was led into this. I am sure my husband will be very upset if he hears that you have punished the boy. He only did what he was ordered to do. You can go now."

There was a silence in the Hall after they had gone.

Sabrina and my mother were very upset. Dickon came over to me and looked at me through narrowed eyes.

He said in a very low voice: "I won't forget this."

"No," I answered, "nor shall I."

He ran out saying he was going to the stable to look for Vesta.

Sabrina said: "Of course boys do get up to these pranks."

"Yes," I admitted. "They do. But when they are caught good boys do not stand aside and let someone else take the blame, particularly someone who is not in a position to defend himself."

They were shocked into silence. They could not bear criticism of their beloved child.

Then I said quite suddenly so that I surprised myself:

"I've decided to go to Eversleigh as we arranged."

They were startled. "Jean-Louis ..." began my mother.

"Cannot go, of course. He is well looked after here. I shall wait a week or so, of course, and when I consider I can leave him I shall go as arranged. I am sure Lord Eversleigh would be very upset if I didn't go and I shall only be away for a short while."

It was as though my other self was preparing to take possession.

There was a great deal of opposition to my proposal to go to Eversleigh without Jean-Louis. My mother said she would not have a moment's peace until she had heard that I had arrived safely, and after that there would be the journey home again to be undertaken. Sabrina added her voice to my mother's. There had rarely been so much highway robbery as there was at this time, she informed me, and those dreadful villains stopped at nothing.

Dickon added: "They shoot you dead, you know, if you won't hand over your money."

I felt he would be quite amused if such a mishap overtook me, for our relationship had not improved since the discovery of the cause of the fire in Farmer Hassock's barn.

Jean-Louis's reaction was as I expected it to be. One of resignation and determination that my desire to go should not be thwarted. He was hobbling round the house and was able to go round the estate in a kind of go-cart, which was a great relief to him for the frustration of being cut off from his work would have been hard to bear.

"You see," I explained to him, "I have a feeling that I must go. That second letter from the old man ... there was something about it. Sabrina said it was like a cry for help. That's rather fanciful, I suppose, but on the other hand, there did seem to be something in it ... in a strange sort of way."

"What worries me most is the journey," said Jean-Louis. "If I could feel that you would be safe ..."

"Oh, Jean-Louis," I cried, "people are making journeys every day. We don't hear of the thousands who arrive safely. There is always such a lot of talk when there is a mishap."

"Some parts of the road are very dangerous ... notorious haunts of highwaymen."

"We shall avoid those and I shall have protection."

"You mother is very much against it."

"I know. She was in an accident when she was a child and has never forgotten it. I'll be all right, Jean-Louis."

He looked at me earnestly. "You very much want to go, don't you?"

"Yes," I said. "I have a strong feeling that I should."

"I understand." He did understand. He was a quiet and thoughtful man and often understood my thoughts before I had expressed them. I believe now that he was thinking that life was beginning to pall; that I was looking for excitement. He did not want me to grow vaguely dissatisfied, which perhaps I was doing without realizing it. However, being Jean-Louis he was constructive rather than destructive; instead of deciding that the journey was impossibly dangerous, he set about planning how to make it as safe as possible.

"I think you should have six grooms," he said. "They can return as soon as you are safely delivered; and then come back for you when you return. Those and one more for the saddle horse and you will be a considerable party."

I kissed him. I felt brimming over with love.

"Well?" he said.

"I think I have the best husband in the world," I told him.