The adulteress

My heart sank. I thought there must be some last-minute hitch and so strongly had I convinced myself that I should see James Fenton that I found the momentary anxiety intense.

"I wondered if you would mind my being a member of the party," he went on.

Floods of relief swept over me and with it pleasure. I said: "I am sure we should all like that very much."

"There you are, Charles," said Derek. "I told you Zipporah would be pleased."

So we made our arrangements and when I went back to Eversleigh and told Jean-Louis he was delighted. "Another man in the party is all to the good," he said.

It was in high spirits that we set out on that June morning. There was a decided chill in the air which made us appreciate the sunshine as the morning wore on.

"It's the best weather for traveling," said Charles. "I made this journey in August and it was intolerable."

"Do you often come to London?" I asked.

"Occasionally. It's necessary to get supplies of medicines and so on... . Not more often than I need, I do assure you."

"You are not fond of London?"

"Oh ... it's a great city ... full of vitality and interest but ..."I waited, for I had the idea that he was on the verge of a confidence and I was beginning to realize that this man interested me considerably and I wanted to know more about him. He said: "Shall we say associations ... ?"

"Something you would rather forget ... ?"

I was aware that I had gone too far. He nodded and it was as though a mask had come down over his face. His expression warned me that it was not polite to pursue a subject which was not agreeable to one's companion. I was ashamed of myself and asked at once if he had a preference for any of the inns, as a means of changing the topic of conversation.

He occupied my thoughts a good deal during that journey. In fact he had from the moment we had met. I felt there had been a tragedy in his life and that it had set that melancholy look on his features. I wondered why Isabel, who was a rather garrulous woman not given to harboring secrets, had said very little about her brother-in-law apart from the fact that he was a good man whom she very much admired.

The journey was uneventful, the weather being perfect for it, and as Derek had made careful reservations and was a frequent traveler on the route we were very comfortable at the inn where we stayed the night.

To my great delight James Fenton was already at the Black Swan and his pleasure at seeing me was great. He looked well, I thought, and when I inquired after Hetty and the children he assured me that they were in good health too. I introduced him to the Forsters and I was delighted that they seemed immediately to like each other.

During the morning of the day after our arrival all the Forsters went out discreetly leaving me with James. Charles said he had to see about ordering supplies for the hospital; Derek had business and he took Isabel with him. James told me that he was glad we could be alone. He wanted to know how things were with us.

He was surprised to hear that we were at Eversleigh. I explained that that was why we had been unable to let him know I would be here. The letter had had to be sent on and then it was too late to let him know.

"Hetty will be so interested to hear that I've seen you," he said. "She would have liked to come with me but there are the children, you know."

We discussed the children for a while and he asked after Lottie.

I explained that we had not been so very long at Eversleigh.

"And Jean-Louis?"

I shook my head sadly. "He never really recovered from that accident at the fire all those years ago. He never complains so it is difficult to know how he is, but sometimes he looks so tired. I think Eversleigh is too much for him."

"It is bigger than Clavering, isn't it?"

"Much bigger. We do want a man to act as manager."

I saw a rather wistful look in his eyes which made my heart beat faster.

Then he said: "Shouldn't be difficult to find someone."

I told him we were being rather wary and gave him a brief resume of what had happened.

He was astounded and found my story difficult to believe. He listened avidly.

"My goodness, Mistress Zipporah, you had a lucky escape."

"It was strange that the one who saved me should be ... Dickon."

I saw his fists clench and unclench.

"Well," he said at length, "it turned out all right then, and you're here. If I hear of a good man ... someone I can recommend ..."

I was sinking into deeper gloom every minute. I realized now that my conviction that I must come and see James was because I had had some wild hope that I might persuade him to come back.

"Well, how are you getting on at the farm?" I asked.

He was silent for a few moments and that silence was significant.

"Oh ... all right," he said. "I'd like to be on my own, of course. Two people don't always see eye to eye."

"You mean it's not working out?" Hope was springing up again. I hoped he didn't hear the lilt in my voice.

"Oh, it's working all right. It's just that ... well, there are things I miss."