The adulteress

Was I oversensitive? I was a married woman. It was to be expected that I should have a child and if I did so after a visit, even though she had been careful enough to mention the time lapse, it was not so very significant.

I went out to find Jethro and I did. He was in his cottage.

"Ah," he said, "I thought maybe you'd be calling on me sometime, Mistress Zipporah."

"I had to talk to you, Jethro. Tell me, how is everything at the Court?"

"It's all as it should be, it seems. His lordship is happy. Jessie gives herself airs and still behaves as though she's the mistress of the house—which in a way she is, there being no mistress there ... mistress of the staff, you might say—but she does take her rule on the other side of the screens, if you get my meaning."

"I thought she was a little more respectful."

"Oh yes, she is that. And she takes great care of his lordship."

"I have seen that and I don't think it is just for our benefit. She is really anxious to keep him alive."

"She changed after you went, Mistress Zipporah. I don't know what you did ... but you did something."

"I just pointed out that the easy life was hers only as long as Lord Eversleigh was alive to provide it."

Jethro's brown old face wrinkled up into a grin.

"Well, it did the trick and everyone seems happy."

I wondered if Jessie was, for she had had grandiose schemes for getting her hands on Eversleigh.

I said: "And the afternoon visits to Amos Carew, do they still continue?"

"They do, Mistress Zipporah."

"Jethro," I said, "I shall have to go soon. Can you keep me informed?"

Jethro looked embarrassed and I realized I had been tactless. Of course, he couldn't read or write.

I went on: "Perhaps you could send a messenger to me. ... Is there anyone ... ?"

He looked dubious and I went on: "It would only be in an emergency of course."

"I'd do my best, Mistress Zipporah, but all is well now and has been since you came, before which is some time now."

I had to leave it at that.

I came away thoughtfully from Jethro's cottage and as I did not feel like returning to the house I started to walk in the opposite direction.

I was deep in thought. I was visualizing myself living here with Jean-Louis and meanwhile Dickon would be at Clavering. Life would be so different. I should have to get rid of Jessie quickly and I wondered what her reaction would be. I had not liked her remark about Lottie's birth nor the suggestive and significant nudge which had accompanied it.

So deep in thought was I that I had not noticed that the sky had darkened; I heard a rumble of thunder in the distance and thought I should have to hurry back if I was to reach the house before the storm broke.

I was near one of the farms which was a quarter of a mile from Eversleigh when the rain started to come down in torrents. There were patches of blue sky on the horizon so I guessed that it was only a passing storm. I was not far from a barn and I sprinted across, opened the door and went in. It would only be for five minutes or so, I was sure.

It was dark in the barn after coming from the light and my eyes took a few seconds to adjust.

Then I saw that I was not alone.

They were lying in the hay ... two people. I tried not to look at them for they were in a state of disarray and were in such a close embrace that at first I had thought it was one person who lay there.

I felt my heart begin to beat as the realization came to me that the two people lying there were Dickon and Evalina.

I wanted to turn and run but I felt as though my feet had taken root.

I stammered: "Dickon ... Evalina ..."

Dickon was looking at me; he was still holding Evalina. She had turned her face toward me.

"Don't look at me like that," cried Evalina. "What about yourself, eh? Some people shouldn't condemn others for what they do themselves."

I felt sick. I turned and ran out into the blinding rain.

My boots were sodden; my clothes saturated and my hair hung damply round my face as I stepped into the hall.

Jessie was there talking to Sabrina.

"My goodness," cried Jessie. "You're wet through."

"Why ... Zipporah," said Sabrina, "you shouldn't have come through that rain."

"You should have stood up ... and waited," said Jessie. "Get them wet things off. Rub yourself down with a towel. Would you like a cup of hot soup?"

"Nothing," I said. "It was foolish of me."

I thought as I went upstairs: I want nothing but to get away from this house.

I had discarded my wet things and put on dry ones. I went along to Sabrina's room.

I said to her vehemently: "I want to go home ... soon."

"Well," she said, "perhaps we should start making plans. Dickon won't like it. He's happy here."

Dickon. I thought: Don't talk to me of Dickon! I could not shut out the memory of his face as he lay there in the barn looking at me ... insolently.

She would tell him. He would know my secret. It must have been Evalina who had listened outside my door.

What did she know? What had she told Dickon? Most assuredly she would have told him of her suspicions.

I began to feel afraid as I had not before.