The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

“Rat pit,” said Maurice. “I told you. They've been breeding rats for the rat pit!”

“Right,” said Darktan. “We're going to get Hamnpork out of there. Sardines, you will show me the way. We'll try to pick up others as we go. The rest of you should try to find the kid.”

“Why are you giving orders?” said Peaches.

“Because someone has to,” said Darktan. “Hamnpork might be a bit scabby and set in his ways but he's the leader and everyone smells that and we need him. Any questions? Right—”

“Can I come, sir?” said Nourishing.

“She's helping me carry my string, boss,” Sardines explained. Both he and the younger rat were carrying bundles of it.

“You need all of that?” said Darktan.

“You should never say no to a piece of string, boss,” said Sardines earnestly. “It's amazing, some of the stuff I've been finding—”

“All right, so long as she's useful for something,” said Darktan. “She'd better be able to keep up. Let's go!”

And then there was just Dangerous Beans, Peaches, and Maurice.

Dangerous Beans sighed. “One rat can be brave, but a bunch of rats is just a mob?” he said. “Are you right, Maurice?”

“No, I was… look, there was something back there,” said Maurice. “It's in a cellar. I don't know what it is. It's the voice that gets into people's heads!”

“Not everyone,” said Peaches. “It didn't frighten you, did it? Or us. Or Darktan. It made Hamnpork very angry. Why?”

Maurice blinked. He could hear the voice in his head again. It was very faint, and it certainly wasn't his own thoughts, and it said I will find a way in, CAT!

“Did you hear that?” he said.

“I didn't hear anything,” said Peaches.

Perhaps you have to be close, Maurice thought. Perhaps, if you've been close, it knows where your head lives.

He'd never seen a rat so miserable as Dangerous Beans. The little rat was huddled by the candle, staring unseeing at “Mr. Bunnsy Has an Adventure”.

“I hoped it would be better than this,” said Dangerous Beans. “But it turns out we're just… rats. As soon as there's trouble, we're just… rats.”

It was very unusual for Maurice to feel sympathetic to anyone who wasn't Maurice. In a cat, that is a major character flaw. I must be ill, he thought. “If it's any help, I'm just a cat,” he said.

“Oh, but you are not. You are kind and, deep down, I sense that you have a generous nature,” said Dangerous Beans.

Maurice tried not to look at Peaches. Oh boy, he thought.

“At least you ask people before you eat them,” said Peaches.

You'd better tell them, said Maurice's thoughts. Go on, tell them. You'd feel better.

Maurice tried to tell his thoughts to shut up. What a time to get a conscience! What good was a cat with a conscience? A cat with a conscience was a… a hamster, or something…

“Um, I've been meaning to talk to you about that,” he muttered.

Go on, tell them, said his shiny new conscience. Get it out in the open.

“Yes?” said Peaches.

Maurice squirmed. “Well, you know I do always check my food these days…”

“Yes, and it does you great credit,” said Dangerous Beans.

Now Maurice felt even worse. “Well, you know how we've always wondered how come I got Changed even though I never ate any of that magical stuff on the dump…”

“Yes,” said Peaches. “That has always puzzled me.”

Maurice shifted uneasily. “Well, you know… er… did you ever know a rat, quite big, one ear missing, bit of white fur on one side, couldn't run too fast 'cos of a bad leg?”

“That sounds like Additives,” said Peaches.

“Oh, yes,” said Dangerous Beans. “He disappeared before we met you, Maurice. A good rat. Had a bit of a speech… difficulty.”

“Speech difficulty,” said Maurice, gloomily.

“He stammered,” said Peaches, giving Maurice a long, cool stare. “Couldn't get his words out very easily.”

“Not very easily,” said Maurice, his voice now quite hollow.

“But I'm sure you never met him, Maurice,” said Dangerous Beans. “I miss him. He was a wonderful rat once you got him talking.”

“Ahem. Did you meet him, Maurice?” said Peaches, her stare nailing him to the wall.