The Big Bad Wolf

GILDA HARANZO SLID into her seat behind her laptop, and I chose a spot across from Christine at the glass conference table. All of a sudden, the loss of Little Alex seemed very real to me. The thought took my breath away. Whether it was a good decision or not, fair or unfair, Christine had walked away from us, moved thousands of miles away, and hadn't been to see him once. She'd knowingly relinquished her parental rights. Now she'd changed her mind. And what if she changed her mind again? Christine said, "Thank you for coming here, Alex. I'm sorry about the circumstances. You must believe that I'm sorry." I didn't know what to say. It wasn't that I was mad at her, but - well, maybe I was angry. I'd had Little Alex almost all his life, and I couldn't stand the thought of losing him now. My stomach was dropping like an elevator in free fall. The experience was like seeing your child run into the street, about to have a serious accident, and not being able to stop it from happening, not being able to do a thing. I sat there very quietly and I held in a primal scream that would have shattered all the glass in the office. Then the meeting began. The informal get-together. With no bad people in the room. "Dr. Cross, thank you for taking the time to come here," Gilda Haranzo said, and threw a cordial smile my way. "Why wouldn't I come?" I asked. She nodded and smiled again. "We all want this problem to be settled amicably. You've been an excellent caregiver, and no one disputes that." "I'm his father, Ms. Haranzo," I corrected. "Of course. But Christine is able to take care of the boy now, and she is the mother. She's also a primary-school principal in Seattle." I could feel my face and neck flushing. "She left Alex a year ago." Christine spoke up. "That isn't fair, Alex. I told you that you could take him for now. Our arrangement was always meant to be temporary." Ms. Haranzo asked, "Dr. Cross, isn't it true that your eighty-two-year-old grandmother takes care of the baby most of the time?" "We all do," I said. "And besides, Nana wasn't too old last year when Christine left to go to Seattle. She's extremely capable, and I don't think you'd ever want Nana on the witness stand." The lawyer continued, "Your work takes you away from home frequently, doesn't it?" I nodded. "Occasionally it does. But Alex is always well cared for. He's a happy, healthy, bright child, smiles all the time. And he's loved. He's the center of our household." Ms. Haranzo waited for me to finish, then she started in again. I felt as if I were on trial here. "Your work, Dr. Cross. It's dangerous. Your family has been put in grave danger before. Also, you've had intimate relationships with women since Ms. Johnson left. Isn't that so?" I sighed. Then I slowly rose from the leather chair. "I'm sorry, but this meeting is over. Excuse me. I have to get out of here." At the door, I turned back to Christine. "This is wrong."