The Black Swan

Something has come up, though. There is a reasonably suitable house here to let. Phillida and I thought we would take it as somewhere to live while we looked around until we find the right place to buy. Obviously that is something which cannot be done in a few weeks ... if we are going to find something we all really like. We thought we’d stay in this house for a little while and search. How does that strike you?

Let me tell you the house is called Gray Stone House. It’s a few miles out of Bradford. There are stables and we could hire horses for a month or so. So that problem is solved. It’s in a sort of village-Bracken. I thought we might take the house for say three months and renew if necessary. I think it might take that time to find our place and furnish and do all that is necessary.

Do you think this is a good idea? We have taken the house tentatively. Phillida is delighted with it and she is sure you will be. It is furnished... after a fashion, and there are several rooms. It is by no means grand but adequate. We thought you might join us here. It’s not worth our coming back. What about Wednesday next? Would that give you time? That is, of course, if all this is agreeable to you. Phillida is very excited, but you know what she is. She likes things to move. I am sure you and she will thoroughly enjoy house hunting together. I am so looking forward to Wednesday. It seems such a long time without you.

I hope you are enjoying London, that Belinda and Bobby are well, and Celeste better.

With all my love,

Your devoted husband,

Roland

When I read the letter it seemed to put a seal on everything. Of course I must go to Yorkshire. I must put an end to my foolish dreaming of something which could never come to pass.

The night before Belinda and Bobby left she came to my room. I myself was leaving the following day. She looked at me with real concern in her eyes. “I know what’s happening,” she said. “It’s Joel, isn’t it? You never really loved Roland. Well, he was nice and in love with you, and we all thought it would be good for you to marry. How were we to know Joel would come back? Oh, Lucie, I’m so sorry for you. It doesn’t seem fair somehow. You’ve always been good to me and I’ve been awful at times... and now here I am with my wonderful old Bobby... and Henry doing what we want and it’ll soon be through... and everything will be fine for us. I do think about you, though.”

“Thank you, Belinda.”

“You sound surprised.” She laughed. “I do really wish there was something I could do ... for you, I mean. I’d like to show you that I do care about other people sometimes-particularly you. Not often, I grant you, but I should so love to help you.”

“There isn’t anything you can do, Belinda. It’s all so clear. I shall have to go up to Yorkshire. It’ll be all right. It has been so far.”

“Oh yes. It seemed all right because we thought Joel was dead and you got on well with Roland... and there were the three of you. It seemed cozy... but it was really the next best thing, wasn’t it? It was because you thought Joel was gone forever and you were making do with what was left. There’s nothing you can do when people are dead... but when they’re living... well, I think you should try everything.”

“I appreciate your concern, but you needn’t worry. I shall go to Yorkshire and it will work out all right.”

“You’re really going to get a house up there?”

“That’s the idea.”

“When are you going?”