The Black Swan

“I can see exactly how it happened,” I said, “but the point is, what are we going to do about it?”

She looked at me helplessly.

“I think you ought to tell Bobby,” I said.

“I just couldn’t.”

“It concerns him.”

“I know. But I couldn’t tell him. He’s such a darling. He’s so happy... and what about the baby?”

“Oh, Belinda,” I said. “What a mess!”

“I thought you might have some suggestion.”

“Why me?”

“Well, you’re calm and reasonable and all that. You would never have got yourself into a mess like this. I thought you might see a way out.”

“There are only two ways out, as far as I can see.”

“What? What?”

“You go back to Australia with Henry Farrell as his wife, because he is after all your husband ...”

“That’s right out of the question. What’s the other?”

“You explain everything to Bobby. Get the marriage with Henry Farrell dissolved and remarry Bobby.”

She breathed a deep sigh.

“That’s it,” she said. “That’s what we have to do. We must do that.”

“You’ve forgotten, of course, that you would have to get Henry Farrel’s agreement.” Her face darkened. “He ... he won’t let me go. He said he won’t. He said he loves me. He wants me back.”

“But he did let you go. He was ready to part with you before.”

“I know. We quarreled terribly, you see. I soon realized what a mistake I’d made.”

 “And you let him know it!”

“He used to get really angry. Sometimes I thought he’d kill me. I got really frightened. And it was all so secret because I didn’t want my mother to know. We never set up house together. It wasn’t really like a true marriage.”

“Oh, Belinda, how could you be so feckless?”

“Because I’m a fool. You know how I always took some action before I’d thought very much about it.”

“Well, what am I going to do?”

“Do you really love Bobby?”

“More every day. I like being with him, and he thinks I’m wonderful.”

“And it is rather nice being Lady Denver?”

“Well, yes, it is,” she said defiantly.

“Better than being Mrs. Farrell, which I suppose you really are?”

“It’s not only that. If you saw Henry Farrell you would know why I want to be with Bobby.”

“Didn’t you realize... oh, but it’s no use going over all that. The point is, what are you going to do? And how do you think I can help?”

“Henry is in London. If someone could talk to him ...”

“You, for instance?” I suggested.

She shook her head. “No. When I’m there he’s just mad. I think he hates me at the same time as he loves me. He knows what I’m like. He wouldn’t trust me ... and in a way I think he hates himself for wanting me. You’ve always been so calm and logical. You wouldn’t understand that....”

“Oh, but I do. I know how exasperating you can be and yet I quite like you myself. You’ve done some dreadful things in your life, Belinda. Think of Pedrek and Rebecca... and yet they forgive you. I don’t know why. But yes, I think I do understand how Henry Farrell feels.”

She came to me and hugged me in her impulsive way.

“You will help me, won’t you, Lucie? You can ... I think.”

“How?”

“He might listen to you.”

“Why? Why should he? He doesn’t know me. We’ve never met.”

“He knows of you. I used to talk about you. He said, ‘Your Lucie sounds a very nice person. From your description I think I’d like her.’ “

“I’m surprised that your description of me engendered such respect.”

“Stop talking like a governess. This is too serious for that. I thought if you could see him and talk calmly to him... explain to him that I will never go back to him... that I’m happy with Bobby now. I’ve found just what I want. If he’d only go back to Australia and forget about me ...”

“You’d still be married to him.”

“No one need ever know.”

“What of the child? It would be illegitimate.”

“I said, nobody need know.”

“It would be better to get it settled clearly and cleanly. Suppose Henry Farrell agreed to go away and withdrew his claim to you, you’d have this hanging over you for the rest of your life. You would never know when it might be discovered. And you have the child to think of.”

“What else can I do?”

“Well, you could confess to Bobby what you have done. I think you owe that to him.

He is good and kind and he loves you dearly. He isn’t going to let you go.”

She nodded slowly. “Yes,” she said, “and then?”

“You might persuade Henry Farrell to agree to this annulment. It could be arranged discreetly perhaps. Then you and Bobby could be married quietly. And you’d go on from there.”

She clasped her hands and looked at me with admiration. “That’s it, Lucie. You’ve got it.” Her eyes were shining and it amazed me how quickly she could change.

“You’ll have to get Henry Farrell’s agreement,” I went on. “That might not be easy.

You’ve always thought everyone ought to do what you want.”

“He could be persuaded, I’m sure.”