The Compassionate Instinct

THE COMPASSIONATE INSTINCT

THE COMPASSIONATE INSTINCT

The Science of Human Goodness

Edited by Dacher Keltner, Jason Marsh, and Jeremy Adam Smith

W. W. NORTON & COMPANYNew York • London

Copyright © 2010 by The Greater Good Science Center

All rights reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

The compassionate instinct: the science of human goodness / edited by Dacher Keltner, Jason Marsh, and Jeremy Adam Smith.—1st ed.

p. cm.

ISBN: 978-0-393-07685-1 (e-book)

1. Helping behavior. 2. Compassion. 3. Interpersonal relations. 4. Altruism.

I. Keltner, Dacher. II. Marsh, Jason. III. Smith, Jeremy

Adam, 1970–

BF637.H4C65 2010

155.2’32—dc22

2009022521

W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.

500 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10110

www.wwnorton.com

W. W. Norton & Company Ltd.

Castle House, 75/76 Wells Street, London W1T 3QT

TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE SUPPORTED

GREATER GOOD MAGAZINE—

READERS, CONTRIBUTORS, AND DONORS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

THIS BOOK CONTAINS some of the best essays from Greater Good magazine (www.greatergoodmag.org), which for five years has flourished due to the hard work of hundreds of people, from staff and volunteers to writers and editorial board members.

Special thanks to Jill Suttie, our volunteer book review editor, and Alfonso Jaramillo, our design editor. We extend our most profound gratitude to everyone who has contributed to Greater Good—and to our dedicated readers and donors—even if space limitations prevent us from thanking each by name.

We would like to express special gratitude to Thomas and Ruth Ann Hornaday and the Herb Alpert Foundation, whose combined support made Greater Good possible. Thanks also to Maria Guarnaschelli, the editor at W. W. Norton who championed and helped shape The Compassionate Instinct.

The three editors would also like to thank our wives—Mollie McNeil, Meredith Milet, and Olli Doo—for their patience and support.

CONTENTS

Contributors

PART ONE: THE SCIENTIFIC ROOTS OF HUMAN GOODNESS

Introduction

The Compassionate Instinct

Dacher Keltner

The Evolution of Empathy

Frans B. M. de Waal

Peace among Primates

Robert M. Sapolsky

Hope on the Battlefield

Dave Grossman

Political Primates

Christopher Boehm

The Forgiveness Instinct

Michael E. McCullough

The New Science of Forgiveness

Everett L. Worthington Jr.

Brain Trust

Michael Kosfeld

Pay It Forward

Robert A. Emmons

Wired to Be Inspired

Jonathan Haidt

PART TWO: HOW TO CULTIVATE GOODNESS IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH FRIENDS, FAMILY, COWORKERS, AND NEIGHBORS

Introduction

Feeling Like Partners

Philip A. Cowan, Carolyn Pape Cowan, and Neera Mehta

Love, Honor, and Thank

Jess Alberts and Angela Trethewey

Stumbling toward Gratitude

Catherine Price

The Choice to Forgive

Fred Luskin

Compassion across Cubicles

Jill Suttie

Are You a Jerk at Work?

Robert I. Sutton

A Feeling for Fiction

Keith Oatley

A Different View

Alfie Kohn

Can I Trust You? A Conversation between Paul Ekman and His Daughter Eve

Jason Marsh

Hot to Help

Daniel Goleman

PART THREE: HOW TO CULTIVATE GOODNESS IN SOCIETY AND POLITICS

Introduction

We Are All Bystanders

Dacher Keltner and Jason Marsh

The Cost of Apathy: An Interview with Robert Reich

Jason Marsh

The Activism Cure

Meredith Maran

America’s Trust Fall

Jeremy Adam Smith and Pamela Paxton

The Power Paradox

Dacher Keltner

Edible Ethics: An Interview with Michael Pollan

Jason Marsh

The Hot Spot

Lisa Bennett

In Search of the Moral Voice