The Constant Gardener

Englishwomen feeding children, in Woodrow's limited experience of the species, exercised a decent restraint. Certainly Gloria had done so. They open their fronts as men open theirs, then use their arts to obscure whatever lies within. But Tessa in the stifling African air feels no need of modesty. She is naked to her waist, which is covered in a kanga cloth similar to the old woman's, and she is cradling the child to her left breast, her right breast free and waiting. Her upper body is slender and translucent. Her breasts, even in the aftermath of childbirth, are as light and flawless as he has so often imagined them. The child is black. Blue-black against the marble whiteness of her skin. One tiny black hand has found the breast that is feeding it, and is working it with eerie confidence while Tessa watches. Then slowly she raises her wide gray eyes and looks into Woodrow's. He reaches for words but hasn't any. He leans over her and past the child and, with his left hand resting on her bed head, kisses her brow. As he does so he is surprised to see a notebook on the side of the bed where Bluhm has been sitting. It is balanced precariously on a tiny table, together with a glass of stale-looking water and a couple of ballpoint pens. It is open, and she has been writing in it in a vague, spidery hand that is like a bad memory of the privately tutored italic script he associates with her. He lowers himself sidesaddle onto the bed while he thinks of something to say. But it is Tessa who speaks first. Weakly, a voice drugged and strangled after pain yet unnaturally composed, still managing to strike the mocking note she always has for him.

"His name is Baraka," she says. "It means blessing. But you knew that."

"Good name."

"He's not mine." Woodrow says nothing. "His mother can't feed him," she explains.

Her voice is slow and dreamy.

"Then he's lucky to have you," Woodrow says handsomely. "How are you, Tessa? I've been terribly worried for you, you can't imagine. I'm just so sorry. Who's looking after you, apart from Justin? Ghita and who else?"

"Arnold."

"I mean apart from Arnold too, obviously."

"You told me once that I court coincidences," she says, ignoring his question. "By putting myself in the front line, I make things happen."

"I was admiring you for it."

"Do you still?"

"Of course."

"She's dying," she says, shifting her eyes from him and staring across the room. "His mother is. Wanza." She is looking at the woman with the dangling arm, and the mute boy hunched on the floor beside her. "Come on, Sandy. Aren't you going to ask what of?"

"What of?" he asks obediently.

"Life. Which the Buddhists tell us is the first cause of death. Overcrowding. Undernourishment. Filthy living conditions." She is addressing the child. "And greed. Greedy men in this case. It's a miracle they didn't kill you too. But they didn't, did they? For the first few days they visited her twice a day. They were terrified."

"Who were?"

"The coincidences. The greedy ones. In fine white coats. They watched her, prodded her a bit, read her numbers, talked to the nurses. Now they've stopped coming." The child is hurting her. She tenderly adjusts it and resumes. "It was all right for Christ. Christ could sit at dying people's bedsides, say the magic words, the people lived and everybody clapped. The coincidences couldn't do that. That's why they went away. They've killed her and now they don't know the words."

"Poor things," Woodrow says, humoring her.

"No." She turns her head, wincing as pain hits her, and nods across the room. "They're the poor things. Wanza. And him down on the floor there. Kioko, her brother. He walked eighty kilometers from his village to keep the flies off you, didn't he, your uncle?" she says to the baby and, settling it on her lap, gently taps its back until it blindly belches. She places her palm beneath her other breast for it to suck.

"Tessa, listen to me." Woodrow watches her eyes measure him. She knows the voice. She knows all his voices. He sees the shadow of suspicion fall across her face and not move on. She sent for me because she had a use for me, but now she's remembered who I am. "Tessa, please, hear me out. Nobody's dying. Nobody's killed anyone. You're fevered, you're imagining things. You're dreadfully tired. Give it a rest. Give yourself a rest. Please."

She returns her attention to the child, buffing its tiny cheek with her fingertip. "You're the most beautiful thing I ever touched in my life," she whispers to it. "And don't you go forgetting it."

"I'm sure he won't," says Woodrow heartily, and the sound of his voice reminds her of his presence.

"How's the hothouse?" she asks — her word for the High Commission.

"Thriving."

"You could all pack up and go home tomorrow. It wouldn't make the slightest difference," she says vaguely.

"So you always tell me."

"Africa's over here. You're over there."

"Let's argue about that when you're stronger," Woodrow suggests in his most placatory voice.

"Can we?"

"Of course."

"And you'll listen?"