The Constant Rabbit

^21. Rabbits are good at languages as they are at much else – the average IQ of a rabbit is about twenty per cent higher than that of humans, an indication that the Event may have been partly satirical in nature.

Next Sunday, Next Door

^22. I didn’t know that then; I found out later. The actual car is now part of the Event Museum near Rhayader. Coincidentally, it was the civilian model of the car that Jake and Elwood Blues drove.

^23. See Chapter 6 of Dr Sam Ingram’s landmark work Below-waist Costume, Modesty, and the Bipedal Post-Event Rabbit.

^24. Mainly about carrots and fruitcake and his favourite Beatle, but Franklin was only young at the time. Interviewed later, he told reporters that he should have said something more measured and erudite.

^25. Rough translation of first line: Your warren is my burrow / your burrow is my warren / veg we share / together for warmth / carrot Ho! / carrot Hah!

^26. One should never underestimate the recuperating properties of a favourite variety of carrot.

Searching in vain & Shopping in town

^27. Not counting the ears. Rabbits are measured to the space on the top of the head between their ears. As a curious aside, ears are exactly one third body height, irrespective of age. No one knows why.

^28. Not that any actually wanted to be bunny girls. It was more the principle of the matter.

^29. Unlike humans, rabbits can become pregnant almost any time they choose. High reproduction rates can often be an engine of swift evolutionary change, and may account for forty per cent of all mammals today belonging to the rodent/rabbit family.

Senior Group Leader

^30. ‘Overcome evil with good’.

^31. Until you actually met one in the flesh, you might never know they were a weasel – which surprises many a prospective date as they spend a disproportionate amount of time using dating apps. Inexplicably, with a young Anthony Eden or Unity Mitford as their profile picture.

^32. I only found this out the next time I put my hand in my pocket. It is a well-known fox joke, although only foxes find it funny.

^33. The outcome justifies the deed.

Dinner & Dandelion Brandy

^34. Niffniff was the Rabbity word for human; the term ‘Fudd’ is colloquial.

^35. During a duel, one always has appointed trusted ‘seconds’ to assist and ensure fair play.

^36. It’s the family of viruses behind Rabbitpox, just one of several viruses potentially fatal to rabbits.

^37. She used up all seven tiles and got a bonus fifty, in case you’re wondering how she did this. ‘Rid’ was already placed, although I have a sneaking suspicion that since Doc placed it, he might have been assisting his wife.

^38. Rabbits are keen on any film involving tunnelling, and still embrace the retro tech of VCRs.

Labstock Bunshot

^39. If you’ve ever owned a spaniel, you’ll know exactly what this looks like.

Rabbit Riot

^40. Improbably enough, this was her name. No one knew whether it was the result of unimaginative parents, a foolish error during her birth registration or taking a partner’s coincidental second name on marriage.

Shopping & Sally Lomax

^41. Oddly, they could deal with heights – but just didn’t like to. Rabbits serving in the RAF saw it as their duty and soon got used to it.

^42. ‘Linear A’ is a Minoan writing system used between 1800 and 1400 BC, and was generally thought to be undecipherable.

Tittle-Tattle and Toast

^43. For a group so reviled, the rabbit’s cheap and skilled labour force was essential as an economic safety net after Brexit. ‘Without the rabbit’s good nature and industry,’ said Finkle, ‘the UK would be on its knees.’

^44. Technically I was incorrect: since mammalia is the last taxonomic classification that rabbits and humans share and we differ firstly by order, not species, any contact should really be termed ‘extra-order’, and as the Venerable Bunty was heard to say, ‘We should celebrate the extraordinary’.

All Saints, All Spite

^45. It’s pronounced ‘Fanshaw’.

^46. ‘No one is above fault’.

^47. Foxes called it ‘playing’, claiming euphemistic linguistic precedence, as when a cat ‘plays with a mouse’.

The Thespian Talk-Through

^48. Not the 3000, obviously – quite out of my price bracket. No, this was a Sprite Mk1, known affectionately as the ‘Frogeye’.

^49. The name for a hill in this corner of Herefordshire.

^50. A popular vegan chain of restaurants run entirely by rabbits, something that TwoLegsGood and UKARP describe as ‘the disgusting spectre of food fascism laid bare for all to see’.

Morning Mood

^51. Why don’t Petstock and Labstock mate? Because the offspring might be too lazy to steal. When are rabbits really good mothers? When they eat their own young. What looks best on a rabbit? A pie crust. What’s the difference between a rabbit and a bucket of turds? The bucket.

MegaWarren

^52. Up until that moment, I thought this was a leporiphobic slur. Apparently it wasn’t.