The Cottage

“I thought about it a little while ago, Alex. And I'd love to say yes. But it doesn't. It's not right between us. Even with my debts paid, I'm too old for you. People would always think I was after your money. And it's not right for a girl your age to be with a man like me. You need a husband and babies, and a real life, maybe with someone from your own world, or someone who does the same kind of work you do. I think if we tried to make this work permanently, it would be a huge mistake. I'm so sorry if I hurt you, Alex. I learned a lot from you, but that's a poor excuse to have done it at your expense. Maybe it wasn't about the money. But it just doesn't feel right. Maybe we both need people closer to our own age. I don't know why, but all my instincts tell me that we both need to walk away from this before we make a real mess of it. If it's any consolation, you've taken a piece of my heart with you. Just keep it close to you, like a locket, or a lock of hair. But let's not go back and make a big mistake we'll both regret. I think we both need to go forward instead of back-In light of the time they'd spent together and what she'd felt for him, she had hoped he would say something different to her, but she didn't disagree with him. She just didn't want to lose. But she had thought about it a lot in the past weeks too, and her conclusions weren't very different than his. She missed him terribly, and she'd had a wonderful time with him, but something in her gut stopped her from trying to talk him into it, or even wanting to go back herself. But she had felt compelled to ask.

In truth, she wanted to explore things with Jimmy now. That felt right to her. In a funny way, more than it ever had with Coop. She and Jimmy had the same passions, the same love for kids, so much so that it spilled over into their work. Jimmy was fascinated by what she did. Coop had always been squeamish about it. And she had never really belonged in Coop's world. She had had fun being in it with him, but she had always felt like a visitor, a tourist, she couldn't really imagine living there for good. In fact, she had more in common with Jimmy than she'd ever had with Coop. Although whether or not it ever worked out with Jimmy was something else. Neither of them could be sure of that yet. But for whatever reason, in the end, it hadn't worked with Coop. For him at least, and maybe he'd been right. It was easier now to move forward, and not back, just as he said.

“I understand, Coop,” she said quietly. “And I hate to say I agree, but I think I do. My head does, and my heart will catch up eventually.” A part of her hated to let him go, maybe because he was the loving, happy-go-lucky father she'd never had, and hers had never been.

“You're a brave girl,” he said generously.

“Thank you,” she said solemnly. “Will you invite me to the premiere?”

“Yes. And you can come watch me get an Oscar at the Academy Awards.”

“It's a deal.” She smiled, happy for him.

She felt better after talking to him. It was as though his windfall had set them both free. He needed that so desperately, not only to pay his bills, but for his peace of mind, and self-respect. Now he could do whatever he wanted to. She was truly pleased for him. And she felt better that night when Jimmy met her at work in a cab. She was driving after that. They were going out for dinner and a movie, and he noticed her mood as soon as they got into her car.

“You look happy. What's up?”

“I talked to Coop today. He got a big part in a movie, and he sorted out a lot of stuff.” Jimmy looked instantly panicked although he also knew his mother was having dinner with him. But he didn't want to mention it to Alex.

“What kind of stuff? About you two?”

“Yeah, that and other things.” She didn't want to tell Jimmy about his debts. She thought she owed that much to Coop. “I think we've both figured out that it wasn't right between us. It was fun, but in the long run, we both needed something different.” She felt freer and more at ease than she had since he left.

“What do you mean you needed something different? Like what?” He looked stressed.

“Like you, dummy,” she said, smiling at him.

“Is that what he said?”

“Not specifically. I figured that much out for myself. I'm a doctor, you know,” she said, as he relaxed. She had worried him for a minute or two. Coop was a formidable opponent for any man, and Jimmy felt at a serious disadvantage compared to him. He was ten feet tall and had so goddam much charm. But what Jimmy had to offer meant more to her. He had a tenderness of soul and gentleness of spirit that had captured her heart. And Coop was right, she needed someone with more in common with her than they had shared. In some ways, she and Jimmy were the answer to each other's prayers.