The Devil Next Door

He was wired and irritable and he drank his beer and tried to watch CNN and all the time, Kathleen couldn’t stop cleaning. She vacuumed right past him, picked lint from under the couch cushions and straightened pictures and washed walls and emptied plastic fruit from the same bowl five times and polished the bowl, chased every speck of dust from every vinyl grape leaf and plum stem. Steve drank and smoked his cigarettes and every time he flicked his ash in the ashtray, she was right there, emptying it and wiping it clean. Finally as she reached over to do it again, he grabbed her arm like he wanted to break it.

“ Listen to me, Kathy,” he said, sweat beaded on his upper lip. “If you don’t sit down and fucking relax, I’m going to tie you to a goddamn chair. You’re getting under my skin, you hear me? Knock it off.”

“ I…can’t seem to stop,” she admitted. “I feel so wound up. Like I’m one of those toys with a key you turn, you know? Just wound tight.”

Steve pulled off his cigarette. “Okay, sure. Now I’m pulling the key out and throwing it away. So stop it, all right? I’m not up to this. You don’t stop and God help me, but I’ll…I’ll…just stop it. Please, just stop it.”

“ I’ll go check on Mom.”

“ Piss on her,” Steve said. “Goddamn parasite sucking the life out of us, that’s what she is.”

“ Steve…Steve, she’s your mother.”

But he didn’t seem to care.

All he cared about was CNN and the bad news everywhere: murders and beatings, fires and mob violence. Crazy things. Awful things. But he could not stop watching it all; he was transfixed.

There were things going on in his head, Kathleen knew, just as there were things going on in hers. He could pretend as she pretended, but they were there. Things that did not belong and had no reason for being, malefic shadows reaching out and enveloping, making them into people they were not, demanding that they be everything but what they were.

After that little exchange, Kathleen tried working outside, but, dear God, that sun was hot. It burned the skin from her muscles and bleached her eyes white and evaporated the blood from her veins. And she sweated, God, how she sweated, but not the good sweat of hard work but an acidic-smelling poison that was gray and pungent like the run-off from a sewer. That sun…that burning sun.

She prayed for darkness.

Finally, her head aching and her teeth chattering, she went inside and splashed water in her face, but that stink was still on her. She took a shower, trying to get that smell off with body wash and Camay and Steve’s Irish Spring, but the more she scrubbed and deodorized, the more that stink came off her in hot, rancid waves.

God, what was that smell?

She stood under the cool spray, gagging on the stench that reminded her of hospital waste and the juice dripping from infected abscesses. Her skin was rubbed pink, rubbed red, just raw and hurting and she kept thinking that it was inside her, that whatever it was, she had to cut it out, she had to slice it free like a tumor before it spread.

And then there she was, standing in the shower with her razor, slicing the blade down her arms and over her wrists and the blood ran and flowed and the smell of it…Christ, the black and putrescent smell of what was inside her.

With a cry, she tossed aside the razor and stepped out of the shower, seeing herself in the mirror, naked and wet and smeared with blood. But her mind was beyond shock by that point. She had to get back to work. She had to get outside and get some fresh air before her head flew apart.

So she did that.

And on her way to the stairs, she paused by the door to Mother Soames room, standing there and listening to the old woman breathe and thinking what it would be like to stop that breathing. For she hated the sound of it. Some nights she lay awake listening to it, that ragged and wheezing respiration. It came through the walls and got in her head and she waited, waited for the breathing to stop in the dead of night as they said it often did with old people. Yes, she waited, tensing, wanting it to stop. She hated herself for it, but deep down she wanted that old bitch to die in her sleep. That breathing, that perpetual hollow breathing, it was like…yes, it was like that story she’d read in school by Poe where that heart would not stop beating even after the old man was dead.

Kathleen actually reached for the tarnished brass doorknob of Mother Soames’ room…but she stopped herself. Made herself stop, even though that same whispering voice said, “Do it, Kathleen. Do it now.”