The Gambling Man

‘And this place is costin’ thirty-five?’

‘Aye. But five pounds’ll act as a starter. Jimmy’s goin’ to get the address of the son and I’ll write to him the morrow.’

There was silence between them for a moment until Rory, looking at Janie’s profile, said, ‘What is it?’

‘The waterfront, it’s . . . it’s mostly scum down here.’

‘Not this end.’

She turned to Jimmy, ‘No?’

‘No, they’re respectable businesses. You know, woodyards, repair shops, an’ things like that. An’ there’s very few live above the shops. There’s nobody on yon side of us, an’ just that bit of rough land on the other. Eeh!’ he laughed, ‘I’m sayin’ us, as if we had it already . . .’

‘What do you think?’ Rory was gazing at her.

‘Eeh!’ She walked the length of the room, put her hand out and touched the chest of drawers, then the brass hinges on the oak chest, then the table, and lastly the rocking chair, and her eyes bright, she looked from one to the other and said, ‘Eeh! it’s amazing. You would never think from the outside it could be like this ’cos it looks ramshackle. But it’s lovely, homely.’

‘Look in t’other room.’

She went into the bedroom, then laughed and said, ‘That’ll come down for a start.’

She was pointing to the hammock, and Rory answered teasingly, ‘No. Why, no. Our Jimmy’s going to swing in that and we’ll lie underneath.’

‘Aw you!’ Jimmy pushed at the air with his flat hand, then said, ‘I’ll be upstairs, I’ll make that grand. Come on, come on up and have a look. Can you manage the ladder?’

Janie managed the ladder, and then she was standing under the sloping roof looking from one end of the attic to the other and she exclaimed again, ‘Eeh! my! did you ever see so many bits of paper and maps and books and things? There’s more books here than there are in the master’s cases in his study.’

‘Aye.’ Jimmy now walked up and down the room as if he were already in possession of the place, saying, ‘By the time I get this lot sorted out I’ll be able to read all right.’

‘Talkin’ of reading.’ Janie turned to Rory. The mistress is having a teacher come in for the children, sort of part time daily governess. She said I could sit in with them. What do you think of that?’

‘You won’t be sittin’ in with them long enough to learn the alphabet. And anyway, I’ll teach you all you want to know once I get you here, an’ you won’t have any spare time for reading.’

‘Rory!’ She glanced in mock indignation from him to Jimmy, and Jimmy, his head slightly bowed and his lids lowered, made for the ladder, muttering, ‘I’m goin’ to see if there’s any wood drifted up.’

Alone together, they looked at each other; then with a swift movement he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He kissed her long and hard and, her eyes closed tightly, she responded to him, that was until his hand slid to her buttocks, and then with an effort she slowly but firmly withdrew from him, and they stood, their faces red and hot, staring at each other.

‘I want you, Janie.’ His voice was thick. Her eyes were closed again and her head was nodding in small jerks and her fingers were moving round her lips wiping the moisture from them as she muttered softly through them, ‘I know, I know, but . . . but not until . . . no, no, not until. I’d . . . I’d be frightened.’

‘There’s nothing to be frightened of. You know me, you’re the only one for me, always have been, an’ ever will be. There’s nothing to be frightened . . .’

‘I know, I know, Rory, but I can’t, I daren’t.’ She was flapping both hands at him now. ‘There’s me da, an’ me grannie, and all the others.’

He was making to hold her again. ‘Nothing’ll happen, just once.’

‘Aw—’ she now actually laughed in his face—’me grannie’s always told me, she fell the first night. An’ you can, you can . . . Eeh!’ She now pressed her fingers tightly across her mouth. ‘I shouldn’t be talkin’ like this. You shouldn’t make me talk like this. It isn’t proper, we’re . . . we’re not married.’

‘Don’t be daft, we’re as good as married. I tell you there’s only you, there’s only . . .’

‘No, Rory, no, not until it’s done.’ She thrust his hands away. ‘I mean proper like in the church, signed and sealed. No, no, I’m sorry. I love you, oh, I do love you, Rory, I’ve loved you all me life. I’ve never even thought of another lad an’ I’m twenty. I can’t tell you how I love you, it eats me up, but even so I want to start proper like so you won’t be able to throw anythin’ back at me after.’

‘What you talking about?’ He had her by the shoulders now actually shaking her. ‘Me throw anything back at you? Actually thinking I’d do a thing like that?’

‘You’re a man and they all do. Me grannie . . .’

‘Blast your grannie! Blast her to hell’s flames! She’s old. Things were different in her day.’

‘Not that. That wasn’t any different. Never will be. It’s the only thing a woman’s really looked down on for. Even if you were to steal you wouldn’t have a stamp put on you like you would have if . . . if you had a bairn.’

‘You won’t have . . .’

‘Rory, no. I tell you no. We’ve waited this long, what’s a few more months?’