The Gambling Man

As he held her tightly to him he dwelt for a moment on the strangeness of life and what two years could do to a man’s feelings, and he realized that no man could really trust himself and say that what he was feeling today he would still feel to­morrow. A few moments ago he had told Charlotte he loved her and would never leave her; two years ago he had told Janie that he loved her and she would always and ever be the only one in his life. What was a man made of when he could change like this? It was past him, he couldn’t understand it. Yet there was one thing at the moment he was certain of, and that was that he no longer wanted Janie but he did want Charlotte, and that what he felt for her wasn’t mere gratitude but love, a love that owed nothing to externals but sprang from somewhere deep within him, a place that up till now he hadn’t known existed.

4

Janie had refused to take the money that Rory had left. Not until she was back in her rightful place, she had said, would she take a penny from him.

‘But Janie,’ Jimmy had pleaded, ‘you can’t go round looking like that, and . . . and all your clothes . . . well, they were given away, the Learys got them.’

‘Why can’t I go round like this, Jimmy? This is what I’ve worn for the last two years, and as I said, when I’m back in me rightful place then I’ll take money from him for clothes.’

On that night one of the first things she asked when he had come back into the room was, ‘What’s happened to John George?’

‘Oh,’ Jimmy had answered, ‘John George’s all right. He has a newspaper shop in Newcastle . . . and that lass is with him. When he got out he came back and saw her, and she left the man. Her father went after her and threatened both of them, but she said it was no good she wouldn’t go back. They’re all right,’ he had ended.

She had looked at him hard as she asked, ‘How did he come by the paper shop?’

‘Well.’ Jimmy had brought one foot up on to his knee and massaged his ankle vigorously while he said, ‘It was her . . . Charlotte, she saw to it.’

‘She saw to it? You mean to say, after sendin’ him along the line she set him up in a shop?’

‘Aye.’

‘And he let her?’

‘Oh aye, he held no grudge. That’s John George, you know. He’s too good to be true really, or soft, it’s how you take him. But she found out where he was, and she went up to him and talked with him and . . . and well, that was that . . . She’s kind, Janie.’

She had looked hard at him as she said, ‘I don’t know about kind, but one thing’s clear, she’s wily. She’s bought the lot of you. You’re for her, aren’t you, Jimmy? Hook, line and sinker you’re for her. And I’ll bet you’ll be telling me next that all them in the kitchen are at her feet an’ all.’

‘Oh no, Janie, oh no. There was hell to pay. They . . . they didn’t speak to him for ages.’

Slightly mollified, she held out her hands towards the blaze, then said quietly, ‘He doesn’t want me now, Jimmy. You can see it; he doesn’t want me.’

And Jimmy could make no reply to this by way of comfort . . .

Nor could he the next night after Rory had gone, nor last night, because each time they met they seemed to become further apart. They were like two boxers who hated each other. Even if Rory were to leave Charlotte he couldn’t see them ever living together again. He began to wonder why she was insisting on it.

He had just come in from the yard and the sight of her cooking a meal caused him to say, ‘Lizzie . . . Lizzie ’ll be down the morrow; she . . . she comes to bake. What you gona do, Janie?’

‘What do you think?’ She went on cutting thick slices from a piece of streaky bacon.

‘Well, you’ll give her a gliff.’

‘We’ve all had gliffs, Jimmy.’ Still continuing slicing the bacon, she didn’t look up as she said, ‘You didn’t mention it, but I suppose her ladyship’s been supportin’ them up there an’ all?’

It was some seconds before he answered, ‘Rory has, and it’s his own money, ’cos as he said he works hard for it. And he does, Janie. He travels about a lot, seein’ . . . seein’ to different businesses and things . . . and he studies . . .’

‘Studies!’ She raised her head and looked at him scornfully. ‘Rory Connor studies! What? New tricks in the card game?’

‘Don’t be so bitter, Janie.’