The Gods Themselves

"I don't know. It wasn't that bad. In fact," (and she smiled) "he was rather touching about it. He was afraid he would be clumsy and began by putting his arms behind his back so that he wouldn't crush me, I suppose."

"Spare me the details."

"Why, what the hell do you care?" she fired up, suddenly. "You're Mister Platonic, aren't you?"

"Do you want it differently? Now?"

"You needn't perform to order."

"But you had better. When do you expect to give us what we need?"

"As soon as I can," she said, tonelessly.

"Without his knowing?"

"He's interested only in energy."

"And in saving the world," mocked Neville. "And in being a hero. And in showing everybody. And in kissing you."

"He admits to all that. What do you admit to?"

"Impatience," said Neville, angrily. "Lots of impatience."

14

"I am glad," said Denison, deliberately, "that the daytime is over." He held out his right arm and stared at it, encased in its protective layers. "The Lunar Sun is one thing I can't get used to and don't want to get used to. Even this suit seems a natural thing to me in comparison."

"What's wrong with the Sun?" asked Selene.

"Don't tell "me you like it, Selene!"

"No, of course not. I hate it. But then I never see it You're an- You're used to the Sun."

"Not the way it is here on the Moon. It shines out of a black sky here. It dazzles the stars away, instead of muffling them. It is hot, hard, and dangerous. It is an enemy, and while it's in the sky, I can't help but feel that none of our attempts at reducing field intensity will succeed."

"That's superstition, Ben," said Selene, with a distant edge of exasperation. "The Sun has nothing to do with it. We were in the crater shadow anyway and it was just like night. Stars and all."

"Not quite," said Denison. "Anytime we looked northward, Selene, we could see that stretch of Sunlight glittering; I hated to look northward, yet the direction dragged at my eyes. Every time I looked at it I could feel the hard ultraviolet springing at my viewplate."

"That's imagination. In the first place there's no ultraviolet to speak of in reflected light; in the second, your suit protects you against radiation."

"Not against heat. Not very much."

"But it's night now."

"Yes," said Denison with satisfaction, "and this I like." He looked about with a continuing wonder. Earth was in the sky, of course, in its accustomed place; a fat crescent, now, bellying to the southwestward. The constellation Orion was above it, a hunter rising up out of the brilliant curved chair of Earth. The horizon glittered in the dim crescent-Earth light.

"It's beautiful," he said. Then: "Selene, is the Pionizer showing anything?"

Selene, who was looking at the skies' with no comment, stepped toward the maze of equipment that, over the past three alternations of day and night, had been assembled there in the shadow of the crater.

"Not yet," she said, "but that's good news really. The field intensity is holding at just over fifty."

"Not low enough," said Denison.

Selene said, "It can be lowered further. I'm sure that all the parameters are suitable."

"The magnetic field, too?"

"I'm not sure about the magnetic field."

"If we strengthen that, the whole thing becomes unstable."

"It shouldn't. I know it shouldn't."

"Selene, I trust your intuition against everything but the facts. It does get unstable. We've tried it."

"I know, Ben. But not quite with this geometry. It's been holding to fifty-two a phenomenally long time. Surely, if we begin to hold it there for hours instead of minutes, we ought to be able to strengthen the magnetic field tenfold for a period of minutes instead of seconds… Let's try."

"Not yet," said Denison.

Selene hesitated, then stepped back, turning away. She said, "You still don't miss Earth, do you, Ben?"

"No. It's rather odd, but I don't. I would have thought it inevitable that I miss blue sky, green earth, flowing water-all the cliche adjective-noun combinations peculiar to Earth. I miss none of them. I don't even dream about them."

Selene said, "This sort of thing does happen sometime. At least, there are Immies who say they experience no homesickness. They're in the minority, of course, and no one has ever been able to decide what this minority has in common. Guesses run all the way from serious emotional deficiency, no capacity to feel anything; to serious emotional excess, a fear to admit homesickness lest it lead to breakdown."

"In my case, I think it's plain enough. Life on Earth was not very enjoyable for two decades and more, while here I work at last in a field I have made my own: And I have your help… More than that, Selene, I have your company."

"You are kind," said Selene, gravely, "to place company and help in the relationship you do. You don't seem to need much help. Do you pretend to seek it for the sake of my company?" ' -

Denison laughed softly. Tin not sure which answer would flatter you more."

"Try the truth."