The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty

Dan and I were colleagues at the Institute for Advanced Study at Princeton. The Institute is a lovely place for lucky researchers who can take a year off to do little else besides think, go for walks in the woods, and eat well. Every day, after we’d spent our mornings pondering life, science, art, and the reason for it all, we enjoyed a delectable lunch: say, duck breast served with polenta and glazed mushroom caps. Each lunch menu was accompanied by a wonderful dessert: ice cream, crème brûlée, New York cheesecake, triple chocolate cake with raspberry-crème filling. It was torturous, particularly for poor Dan, who had a powerful sweet tooth. Being a smart, rational, cholesterolically challenged economist, Dan wanted dessert, but he also understood that eating dessert daily is not advisable.

Dan thought about his problem for a while and concluded that when faced with temptation, a rational person should sometimes succumb. Why? Because by doing so, the rational person can keep him- or herself from becoming too depleted, remaining strong for whatever temptations the future may bring. So for Dan, who was very careful and concerned about future temptations, it was always carpe diem when it came to the daily dessert. And yes, along with Emre Ozdenoren and Steve Salant, Dan wrote an academic paper justifying this approach.

ON A MORE serious note, these experiments with depletion suggest that, in general, we would be well served to realize that we are continually tempted throughout the day and that our ability to fight this temptation weakens with time and accumulated resistance. If we’re really serious about losing weight, we should get rid of temptation by clearing our shelves and refrigerator of all the sugary, salty, fatty, and processed foods and acclimating to the taste of fresh produce. We should do this not only because we know that fried chicken and cake are bad for us but also because we know that exposing ourselves to such temptations throughout the day (and every time we open a cupboard or the refrigerator) makes it more difficult for us to fight off this and other temptations throughout the day.

Understanding depletion also means that (to the extent that we can) we should face the situations that require self-control—a particularly tedious assignment at work, for example—early in the day, before we are too depleted. This, of course, is not easy advice to follow because the commercial forces around us (bars, online shopping, Facebook, YouTube, online computer games, and so on) thrive on both temptation and depletion, which is why they are so successful.

Granted, we cannot avoid being exposed to all threats to our self-control. So is there any hope for us? Here’s one suggestion: once we realize that it is very hard to turn away when we face temptation, we can recognize that a better strategy is to walk away from the draw of desire before we are close enough to be snagged by it. Accepting this advice might not be easy, but the reality is that it is much easier to avoid temptation altogether rather than to overcome it when it sits lingering on the kitchen counter. And if we can’t quite do that, we can always try to work on our ability to fight temptation—perhaps by counting to a hundred, singing a song, or making an action plan and sticking to it. Doing any of these can help us build our arsenal of tricks for overcoming temptation so that we are better equipped to fight those urges in the future.

FINALLY, I SHOULD point out that sometimes depletion can be beneficial. Occasionally, we may feel that we are too much in control, dealing with too many restrictions, and that we’re not sufficiently free to follow our impulses. Perhaps sometimes, we just need to stop being responsible adults and let loose. So here’s a tip: next time you really want to let it all hang out and indulge your primal self, try depleting yourself first by writing a long autobiographical essay without using the letters “a” and “n.” Then go to a mall, try on different things, but buy nothing. Afterward, with all of this depletion weighing on you, place yourself in the tempting situation of your choice and let ’er rip. Just don’t use this trick too often.

AND IF YOU really need a more official-sounding excuse to succumb to temptation from time to time, just use Dan Silverman’s theory of rational self-indulgence as the ultimate license.

CHAPTER 5

Why Wearing Fakes Makes Us Cheat More

Let me tell you the story of my debut into the world of fashion. When Jennifer Wideman Green (a friend of mine from graduate school) ended up living in New York City, she met a number of people in the fashion industry. Through her I met Freeda Fawal-Farah, who worked for Harper’s Bazaar, a gold standard in the fashion industry. A few months later Freeda invited me to give a talk at the magazine, and because it was such an atypical crowd for me, I agreed.