The Knight

After that I rationed them out to myself, and thought about what I would have to do.

―――

The next time Pouk came, I told him, and he said, “You can’t fight him, sir. He’ll kill you an’ we’ll kill him, but it won’t do no good. So wait up, sir, till you’re stronger.”

“What if I’m weaker? I’ll make peace if I can, but if I can’t shake his hand I’ll break his neck. Did he really want to kill me?”

“Aye, sir.” Pouk’s voice had become a shamed whisper. “I shoulda killed him then, only I didn’t. You’d of, an’ no countin’ costs. Only I’m not you, sir, an’ I know it.”

“I’m not you, either. I’m no seaman. Help me up.”

“You’re too weak, sir.”

“I know.” I felt like I ought to be angry, but I was not. “That’s why I wanted you to help me.” He did, taking my hands and pulling me up. “I’m a knight,” I said. “We fight when we’re weak.”

“Why’s that, sir?” Pouk sounded like he was a million miles away. I said I could not explain, there was not enough time. I tried to take a step and fell down.

After that I was in bed, and a nurse came in and said I had fought the hijackers, and everybody was so proud of me they could bust. There was a dog in the hospital, that was why she was there, and had I seen it?

Chapter 20. Sword Breaker

There were shouts outside the cable tier. The door opened, and a seaman looked in. “Cap’n, Sir Able. Nothink ter worry h’about, sir. We’re watchin’ an’ won’t let ’im h’in.”

I said I wanted to talk to him, but the door had already closed. It got quiet again, just the creak of the timbers and the slap of the waves on the side of the ship, things I had been hearing so long I hardly heard them at all. I had a blanket and a bottle of brandy. The blanket had been one of mine, Pouk said, and he had pinched the brandy from the captain’s private stock. I had drunk some; it made me terribly dizzy, and I swore I would not drink any more.

―――

“I’m just a kid,” I told Pouk between mouthfuls. He did not understand kid, so I said, “A boy who’s supposed to be a man after one night with a woman.”

“Aye, sir. I’ve felt th’ same many’s a time.”

Right here I want to stop everything and say something like this has happened to me a lot. I have tried to tell other men about Disiri and me and how I changed. And they have said the same thing happened to them. I do not think it did, really. They felt like it did. I felt like it did too, but I felt that way because it really did. Of course they would say the same thing.

“Just a boy,” I told Pouk. “A boy who thought he was a brave knight.”

“I ain’t never seen no braver man nor you, sir.” Pouk sounded ready to fight anybody who contradicted him. “Why, when them Osterlings got through the net, who was it went for ’em?”

I stopped eating to consider the question. “The dog, I’m sure. The dog Megister Nur couldn’t find.”

“No, sir! It was you. The rest o’ us come after, an’ if you hadn’t gone, we wouldn’t o’ gone at all, sir. Them Osterlings, they didn’t never think we’d have no knight aboard. You had ’em beat ‘fore anybody caught breath. Time you went down, they was cuttin’ free.”

It took a while, but I nodded. “I remember. Or anyway I think I might. Enemies in front of me and on both sides. Striking them with the mace we bought from Mori. Where is that, by the way? Do you know what happened to it?”

“Cap’n got it, prob’ly, sir.”

“Find out, if you can. I’d like to get it back.” I stopped talking for a while to eat and scratch my head. “I need something for my left hand, Pouk. A shield, or at least a stick I could use to stop blows. I had to do it with the mace.”

“Aye aye, sir. I’ll keep my eye out for somethin’.”

“Then look for my bow and quiver while you’re at it. And for the dog. Is the dog still on board?”

“Wyt seen it last night, sir. Mighty thin it looked, Wyt says, and slavered like to eat him.”

“At least the captain hasn’t got him.”

Pouk coughed. “Speakin’ of Cap’n ... As we was, sir, ’cause he’s prob’ly got

’em. Speakin’ o’ him, I’ve learnt what he’s plannin’, sir. He told Mate, an’ Mate told Second, and Njors heard him an’ told me. When we get to port, sir, he’ll pay off the crew and let ’em go ashore. He thinks everybody’ll go, only I won’t, sir. Him an’ Mate’ll come down here to do for you then, only I’ll be with you.” I said no. “I won’t wait for them. How long before we get to port?” Pouk shrugged. “I ain’t no navigator, sir. Could be five days. Could be ten.”

“Forcetti?”

“No, sir, Yens, sir. That’s what they say. If you’re through eatin’, sir—”

“No.” I got to my feet, without help and without a lot of trouble. “Let me take that back. I’m through eating, but I’m not through with this stewed beef you brought me.”

“I wouldn’t talk quite so loud, sir. First might be around.”

I had not even noticed that I had raised my voice, but I raised it some more.