The Long Dark Tea-Time Of The Soul

"You can begin to understand," said Thor, angrily, "which is why I have come to you. Do you know that most people hardly see me? Hardly notice me at all? It is not that we are hidden. We are here. We move among you. My people. Your gods. You gave birth to us. You made us be what'you would not dare to be yourselves. Yet you will not acknowledge us. If I walk along one of your streets in this... world you have made for yourselves without us, then barely an eye will once flicker in my direction."

"Is this when you're wearing the helmet?"

"Especially when I'm wearing the helmet!"

"Well- "

"You make fun of me!" roared Thor.

"You make it very easy for a girl," said Kate. "I don't know what - "

Suddenly the room seemed to quake and then to catch its breath. All of Kate's insides wobbled violently and then held very still. In the sudden horrible silence, a blue china table lamp slowly toppled off the table, hit the floor, and crawled off to a dark corner of the room where it sat in a worried little defensive huddle.

Kate stared at it and tried to be calm about it. She felt as if cold, soft jelly was trickling down her skin.

"Did you do that?" she said shakily.

Thor was looking livid and confused. He muttered, "Do not make me angry with you. You were very lucky." He looked away.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I wish you to come with me."

"What? What about that?" She pointed at the small befuddled kitten under the table which had so recently and so confusingly been a blue china table lamp.

"There's nothing I can do for it."

Kate was suddenly so tired and confused and frightened that she found she was nearly in tears. She stood biting her lip and trying to be as angry as she could.

"Oh yeah?" she said. "I thought you were meant to be a god. I hope you haven't got into my home under false pretences, I..." She stumbled to a halt, and then resumed in a different tone of voice.

"Do you mean," she said, in a small voice, "that you have been here, in the world, all this time?"

"Here, and in Asgard," said Thor.

"Asgard," said Kate. "The home of the gods?"

Thor was silent. It was a grim silence that seemed to be full of something that bothered him deeply.

"Where is Asgard?" demanded Kate.

Again Thor did not speak. He was a man of very few words and enormously long pauses. When at last he did answer, it wasn't at all clear whether he had been thinking all that time or just standing there.

"Asgard is also here," he said. "All worlds are here."

He drew out from under his furs his great hammer and studied its head deeply and with an odd curiosity, as if something about it was very puzzling. Kate wondered where she found such a gesture familiar from. She found that it instinctively made her want to duck. She stepped back very slightly and was watchful.

When he looked up again, there was an altogether new focus and energy in his eyes, as if he was gathering himself up to hurl himself at something. "

"Tonight I must be in Asgard," he said. "I must confront my father Odin in the great hall of Valhalla and bring him to account for what he has done."

"You mean, for making you count Welsh pebbles?"

"No!" said Thor. "For making the Welsh pebbles not worth counting!"

Kate shook her head in exasperation. "I simply don't know what to make of you at all," she said. "I think I'm just too tired. Come back tomorrow. Explain it all in the morning."

"No," said Thor. "You must see Asgard yourself, and then you will understand. You must see it tonight." He gripped her by the arm.

"I don't want to go to Asgard," she insisted. "I don't go to mythical places with strange men. You go. Call me up and tell me how it went in the morning. Give him hell about the pebbles."

She wrested her arm from his grip. It was very, very clear to her that she only did this with his permission.

"Now please, go, and let me sleep!" She glared at him.

At that moment the house seemed to erupt as Neil launched into a thumping bass rendition of Siegfried's Rheinfahrt from Act 1 of Gtterdmmerung, just to prove it could be done. The walls shook, the windows rattled. From under the table the sound of the table lamp mewing pathetically could just be heard.

Kate tried to maintain her furious glare, but it simply couldn't be kept up for very long in the circumstances.

"OK," she said at last, "how do we get to this place?"

"There are as many ways as there are tiny pieces."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Tiny things." He held up his thumb and forefinger again to indicate something very small. "Molecules," he added, seeming to be uncomfortable with the word. "But first let us leave here."

"Will I need a coat in Asgard?"

"As you wish."

"Well, I'll take one anyway. Wait a minute."

She decided that the best way to deal with the astonishing rigmarole which currently constituted her life was to be businesslike about it. She found her coat, brushed her hair, left a new message on her telephone answering machine and put a saucer of milk firmly under the table.