The Love Child

“You mean get rid of it. I don’t want that, Harriet. I should hate it.”

“I thought so. Well, what do you propose? What will your parents say?”

“They’ll be horrified. My father will be quite contemptuous.”

“He would. Having himself played the masculine role in dramas of this nature, he would be deeply horrified at his daughter’s taking the feminine one. Such men always are. I want to snap my fingers at them.”

“You don’t like him, Harriet, I know. He is one of the few people I have heard you speak quite vehemently against.”

“No, I don’t like him. To be perfectly honest I think it’s because he never liked me.”

“All men like you, Harriet.”

“Most of them,” she agreed. “He hardly looked at me. He was all for your mother.

She was the one he wanted.”

“I know he has a very special feeling for her. I wish they were more gentle with each other.”

“He’s not the kind. But what are we doing talking of him? We have our problem.”

It was typical of Harriet that she should call it “our problem.” That was the charm of her. She was not in the least shocked and she was going to summon all her ingenuity to help me.

I felt the tears come to my eyes and she, seeing them, patted my hand and said practically: “We’ve got to get down to serious planning. You’re sure, are you?”

“Yes.”

“And you are going to keep the child?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Have you thought what this will mean? The child will always be there in your life.

You see, this matter does not now end with Jocelyn’s death. He will always be there through this child. Now, you have your own life before you. It has scarcely begun.

You should ask yourself whether you want this child to be there for the rest of your life. It is possible to get rid of it. I know how that can be done, but it will have to be now. It is dangerous later. In fact it could be dangerous now. I hope you won’t want to do it, Priscilla. But if you decide …”

“I couldn’t. I want the child. It has already made a difference to me. I no longer feel as though I died with him. I now feel there is something for me in the future.”

“Very well, that’s settled. But what are we going to do? Are we going to tell your parents?”

“I don’t want to. I’d rather go away.”

“Does anyone else know this? Does Christabel?”

“No. No one.”

“So at the moment it is our secret… yours and mine.”

I nodded.

“You could go to your mother and tell her. She would consult your father. They might decide on two alternatives: to send you away where you could have your child in secret and then get it adopted, or marry you off to some willing young man who will take you for a price and it will be pretended that your child was born prematurely. No one will believe it, of course, but it helps the conventions. Do either of these prospects appeal to you?”

“I wouldn’t agree to either.”

She smiled at me. “You are a very determined young woman, Priscilla. I understand your feelings. Now when I had Leigh I had no such fine feelings. You see how much easier it is for a woman like me. I’m bold and I snap my fingers in the face of convention and everyone thinks I am rather a wicked woman. But I get along very well. I have been thinking about you so much. I shall never forget your dear stricken face when you heard the news. I knew what had happened on the island. It is often easy to see in a young girl’s face when she had taken a lover. I saw it in yours and I was glad for you. He was a charming boy and young love is beautiful. Well, now it is over and I do not regret it. You have had a taste of life and found it first sweet, then bitter. But that is life, my dear. I must stop philosophizing and we must plan.”

“You are going to help me, Harriet, I know.”

“Of course I am going to help you. You have always been dear to me. I am very fond of your mother. I have treated her badly at times. It was wicked of me, was it not, to go off with a lover and leave little Leigh-my own child-for her to look after?

I was trapped, though. Her parents knew me for the adventuress I was and so did the Eversleighs. They didn’t know then that Leigh was an Eversleigh. They had pinned that indiscretion on some poor, defenceless young man. Oh, it is so complicated and when you read about it you will understand, perhaps. You may not like me much then.

I come out in a very bad light.”

“I shall always love you whatever the lighting is like.”

“Bless you, child. But let us be serious and clever. We have to be, you know, for this is a mighty problem.”

“Harriet, what can I do?”

“An idea came to me when I received your letter because, as I said, I guessed at once what your dilemma was. Would you be prepared to deceive your mother?”

“I don’t understand, Harriet.”

“If your mother knows, so will your father, and I gather you don’t want him to.”

“I dread that more than anything.”

“You are very close to him in a way, Priscilla.”

“I! Close to him! He doesn’t care anything for me.”