The Love Child

“Never,” agreed Leigh. “Of course Priscilla was no ordinary girl.”

My father showed little enthusiasm. He quite liked Leigh, who was not unlike himself and different from Edwin, of whom he had a very poor opinion. I thought resentfully: I suppose he is glad to have his daughter taken off his hands.

“There should be no delay,” said my mother. “I daresay you will be called away, Leigh, all too soon.”

Leigh agreed that it might be so and arrangements went afoot with all speed.

Christabel came over from Grassland Manor to congratulate me. She had left plump Thomas Junior in his nurse’s charge. She hated to leave him for long but she had to come and wish me well.

She came to my room for a tete-a-tete.

Leigh had always loved me, she said. She had been envious because he had never looked at her. She lowered her gaze and said: “Priscilla, what about Carlotta?”

“He knows. I told him. I wouldn’t marry him without his knowing.”

“And he… understands?”

“Yes, he understands. He said … Oh, Christabel, this makes me so happy … he says that we must work out some plan to get her with us, so that she can be with her mother. He knows me so well. He knows exactly what I want.”

“He will be a good husband to you, Priscilla, and there is nothing so wonderful in life as a happy marriage.”

“You should know,” I said. “You are one of the fortunate ones who have achieved it.”

“And I don’t deserve it. That’s the point.”

“Nonsense. Ask Thomas whether you do or not. You have made him a very happy man.”

“Yes, he is happy, and that is something, isn’t it? At least I am responsible for that.”

“You must stop reproaching yourself, Christabel. You still do it, you know.”

“I was so envious. Envy is a deadly sin, Priscilla.”

“Well, you are rid of yours now. Wish me happiness like yours.”

“I do,” she answered, “with all my heart.”

Harriet came over a few days before the wedding accompanied by Gregory, Benjie and Carlotta.

That Harriet was delighted was obvious.

“It was what I wanted for you and Leigh,” she told me. “I can’t tell you how happy this has made me. I was an Eversleigh once … when I married Toby … and I was proud to be one. Now I shall have an Eversleigh for a daughter-in-law and I tell you this, there is no one I would rather have.”

“You have always been so good to me, Harriet. I have told Leigh about Carlotta.”

She nodded.

“It makes no difference. He still wants to marry me.”

“I should not think much of him if he did not.”

“He says that in time she should come to live with us.”

She took my hand and pressed it. “He’s right. Oh, isn’t this a lovely solution to our little drama? Wedding bells. It was always a popular finale. And so they lived happily ever after! That was always my favourite line.”

“A fairy tale ending,” I said. “But life is not a fairy tale.”

She looked at me sharply and again I had that impulse to tell her about Beaumont Granville. I must not. Nobody must know. I promised myself that I was going to forget he had ever existed. I was going to wipe out the memory of that night forever.

Leigh had to go to London. He would not go to Court but he would frequent the coffeehouses there where it was possible to pick up the latest news, for in these shops men of the Court, soldiers, politicians, wits and gossips, gathered and talked together with the utmost indiscretion.

I didn’t want him to go. I was afraid that something would happen to him. With every passing day I realized how important he was to me. I was even beginning to see that what had happened with Jocelyn was not the grande passion I had imagined it to be.

Jocelyn had been a handsome boy in danger. We were alone on an island … two young people . . , and we had loved in a natural way. It happened so quickly. We were in love and we knew we could quickly be parted, so we foolishly snatched at those moments.

We had talked of marriage. For a night we were as married people. Now I began to wonder what would have happened if he had escaped, if we had married. I was realizing that this growing emotion I felt for Leigh was strong and steady, unwavering, the sort of love I had seen between my mother and father. It was the true love, the love of endurance which nothing could change … not the flimsy stuff which is airy romance.

It was Leigh whom I loved. That was why I feared for him when he went to London, why I attempted to gather news of what was . happening, why I began to fear another civil war, a rebellion … . just as my mother did. And this was not due to patriotic fears for our i country but simply that we were women who wanted to protect our . men.

It was a great revelation. I loved Leigh and we were to be married.