The Most Dangerous Dame

I puffed contentedly. I’d always thought the smoking would catch up to me and I’d die alone in some dark alley coughing up my lungs. But after learning I had microscopic nanomachines repairing my body’s damage, I’d come to worry less about small things like dying of cancer. At least being an ex-member of the United Haven’s most notorious law enforcement agency had a perk or two.

“Johnny Knuckles. Word out on the street is you’ve been a bad boy. Working both sides of the fence is a pretty daring move for a hardhead like you. Takes balance, see? Equilibrium and all that bunk.”

Johnny blinked the rain out of his eyes. He gave Poddar a wary glance before looking my direction. “Don’t… know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t. But I got good word you’re trying to get some pretty rough poison into the Black Dahlia. You know, where you got a night gig as door muscle. They took a chance on hiring a lug like you. Background check turned out all right, but we both know those are easy to fake.”

“Take it easy, Mick.” Johnny gingerly sat up, holding his head with his oversized grabbers. “You got your wires crossed. I ain’t done nothing illegal.”

“Course not, ‘cause you haven’t had time yet. See, I’m in good with the Dahlia’s manager, Mr. Shapiro. He got an anonymous tip that something about you just wasn’t right. That’s when he gave me a call. I figured I could sniff out something if I beat the streets for someone who’d dime you out. I found out a lot about your extracurricular activities, Johnny. Like that stash of Ladykillers you have loaded up at Dock 76.”

Certain folks are real good at lying. Johnny Knuckles wasn’t one of those folks.

“I don’t got nothing stashed. Swear on my moms I don’t.” He looked up with wide eyes, trying real hard to look earnest. On an ugly mug like his, it was a gaze of tragic comedy.

I blew a stream of smoke his direction. “You sure about that, Johnny boy?”

“Honest, Mick. I just got that new gig. I wouldn’t screw ‘em over like that.”

I stared at him. Narrowed my eyes a bit. Enjoyed watching him sweat bullets. I had a bit of a rep in New Haven as an unpredictable wild card. Only fitting I used it now and again.

“What do you think, Poddar?”

“I think we should get out of this rain, Mick.” Poddar pulled his collar up and frowned at the downpour.

Poddar still hadn’t gotten into the habit of wearing a topper. I didn’t get it. Not only was a Bogart a stylish fashion accessory, it also did a hell of a job of keeping a man’s hair dry when it rained. It rained all the time in New Haven.

“I’m talking about Johnny’s story. You buying what he’s selling?”

Poddar gave Johnny a dark look. Poddar was nicknamed the Prince by the slumdogs in his neck of the world, so it went without saying he was all for just saying no to drugs and all.

“He’s lying.”

Johnny swallowed hard. “No way. I swear, man. I’m telling the truth.”

I smiled. “You know what? I believe you, Johnny.”

His massive chest heaved a sigh of relief.

I exhaled smoke through my nostrils. “But I gotta be sure, you know? You say the stash isn’t yours? Hey — maybe my info was a bit off. No kick, right? So you provide a little bit of proof, a sign-off on your good word and we’ll call it a night. Whaddya say?”

His eyes shifted as he caught wind of the trap he was in. “Uh… sure, Mick. What do you want me to do?”

“Catch.”

I tossed a small cylinder-shaped device to him. He fumbled for a bit but finally caught it. It was about the length of his palm, topped by a simple red button. His eyebrows rose.

“This… this looks like—”

“Like a detonator?” I smiled. “Sure it does. You see, I wired a few choice explosives to that stash I told you about. You know, at Dock 76? I’m not too fond of narcotics. ‘Specially the type stockpiled on that dock. Ladykiller. Made to slip in a gal’s drink when she’s not looking. Gets her all woozy and unable to think straight. Good-for-nothing pervs like to take a dame like that and do all sorts of filthy things to her. When she gets outta the haze — if they haven’t put her on ice, that is — she won’t remember much. Certainly not enough to know who did the deed.”

I flicked the gasper butt into the low-hanging fog. “So you understand I can’t let a huge stash like that go into circulation. If there’s one thing I’m guilty of, it’s having a soft spot for dames. Pipe that?”

Johnny Knuckle’s oversized mitts trembled. “So you want me to…?”

“Not all that hard to figure out, Johnny boy. You blow up that stash and you’re off the hook. After all, it’s not your problem — right?”

The rain streamed on Johnny’s bare head, giving him the impression of drowning in his own sweat. His eyes flicked to the detonator in his hand, then back at me. His body tensed, straining his muscles until the veins in his arms seemed ready to burst.

My hand strayed toward the inside of my flogger.

He finally sagged, exhaling vapor into the rain. He nodded wearily.

“Ok, Mick. You win. I know about the Ladykillers. I put ‘em there.”