The Nonesuch

Laurence, executing one of his exquisite bows, said all that was proper, for he prided himself on his social address, but not even Mrs Underhill’s evident admiration reconciled him to the prospect of dining in her house. He described her as a vulgar mushroom, and wondered that his cousins should not have kept her at a proper distance.

“We’re not as niffy-naffy as you—or, of course, of such consequence!”

Laurence reddened, and said peevishly: “You needn’t ride grub because I don’t care for low company! Who is the creature?”

“She is a wealthy widow, with a son, a daughter, and a very beautiful niece. She owns the largest house in the neighbourhood, and may be depended on to set a capital dinner before us. She’s a cit, but excessively good-natured, and has been particularly kind in giving us an open invitation to dine at Staples whenever we choose—or whenever the builders make Broom Hall intolerable! We have been in the habit of going there quite frequently, so if you don’t want one of Waldo’s set-downs, I advise you not to speak of Mrs Underhill to him as a vulgar mushroom!”

“One of Waldo’s eccentricities, I collect. Or has he got up a flirtation with the beautiful niece? Is that what’s keeping him in Yorkshire?”

“I’ve told you already what’s keeping him. As for Miss Wield, she’s no more than seventeen, and if you think Waldo would—”

“Oho!” interrupted Laurence, his curiosity roused. “Have you an interest there yourself?”

Julian flushed, and answered stiffly: “No. I admire her, as everyone must, but I am not one of her suitors. She has dozens of ’em!” He continued, in an easier tone: “She’s a diamond of the first water, I promise you! But there are several very pretty girls to be seen—Miss Colebatch is one of them. I hope she may be at home when we get to Colby Place.”

“Don’t hope it on my account!” said Laurence, yawning. “I’m not in the petticoat-line!”

Inasmuch as he was too self-absorbed ever to have contracted even the mildest passion for any lady, this was true; but provided that he was not expected to run errands, or to dance attendance, or, in fact, to put himself out in any way, he was rather fond of feminine society. He was also responsive to flattery, and of this he received full measure at Colby Place. Not only was Miss Colebatch at home, but her two younger sisters were sitting with their mama when the visitors were announced; and from the moment of his entering the room they seemed unable to drag their eyes from the elegant Mr Calver. Awe was writ large on their youthful countenances; and when he was kind enough to address a word or two to one or other of them they showed by their blushes, nervous giggles, and stammering replies how appreciative they were of his condescension. Miss Colebatch, though she did not betray it, was a good deal impressed by his air of á la modality; and her mama, not content with begging him to honour her ball with his presence, gratified him by asking his advice on various questions concerning it, because she said that she was persuaded he must be familiar with all the latest kicks of high fashion.

He was shortly to be still more gratified. The news that the Nonesuch had another cousin staying with him, and one who was an out-and-out dandy, rapidly spread, and was productive of a spate of notes directed to Sir Waldo, and carrying the assurances of the various hostesses to whom he and Lindeth were engaged that they would be most happy to include Mr Laurence Calver amongst their guests.