The Nonesuch

In the middle of this speech Tiffany came in wearing her driving-dress, and with Laurence at her heels. “Bridlington? Who is going to that stupid place?” she demanded. She extended a careless hand to Lindeth. “How do you do? I haven’t seen you this age! Oh, Arthur, have you been waiting for me? Mr Calver has been teaching me how to loop a rein. You are not going to Bridlington, are you? It is the dullest, horridest place imaginable! Why don’t you go to Scarborough?”

“’Tisn’t me, it’s Charlotte,” explained Arthur. “I was telling Mrs. Underhill how much good it did me when I was in queer stirrups.”

“Oh, Charlotte! Poor Charlotte! I daresay it will be the very thing for her. When does she go, ma’am?”

“Well, my dear, I believe I’ll take her this week,” said Mrs Underhill nervously. “There’s no sense in keeping her here, so low and dragged as she is, and Cousin Matty for ever begging me to pay her a visit, and to bring Charlotte along with me. I’ve been asking his lordship’s pardon, and Arthur’s too, for being obliged to put off the ridotto.”

“Put off my ridotto!” exclaimed Tiffany. “Oh, no! you can’t mean to be so cruel, ma’am!”

“I’m sure I’m as sorry as I can be, love, but you can’t have a party without I’m here, now, can you? It wouldn’t be seemly.”

“But you must be here, aunt! Send Nurse with Charlotte, or Ancilla! Oh, pray do!”

“I couldn’t be easy in my mind, letting the poor lamb go without me, and I wouldn’t have the heart for a ridotto, nor any kind of party. But there’s no need to get into a fidget, love, for I don’t mean to stay above a sennight—that is, not if Charlotte’s going on well, and don’t dislike to be left with Cousin George and Cousin Matty, which I daresay she won’t. But she made me promise her I’d go with her, and so I did. Not that I intended otherwise.”

“How can she be so abominably selfish?” cried Tiffany, flushing. “Making you go away when she knows that I need you! Depend upon it, she did it for spite, just to spoil my ridotto!”

Arthur looked rather startled, but it was Lindeth who interposed, saying: “It is very natural that she should wish for her mama, don’t you think!”

“No!” Tiffany replied crossly. “For she would as lief have Ancilla! Oh, I know! Ancilla shall be hostess in your stead, aunt! Famous! We shall do delightfully!”

But Mrs Underhill was steadfast in refusing to entertain this suggestion. Observing the rising storm signals in Tiffany’s eyes, she sought to temper the disappointment by promising to hold the ridotto as soon as she returned from Bridlington but this only made Tiffany stamp her foot, and declare that she hated put-offs, and marvelled that her aunt should be taken in by Charlotte’s nonsense. “For my part, I believe she could be perfectly stout if she chose! She is putting on airs to be interesting, which I think quite odious, and so I shall tell her!”

“Here!” protested Arthur, shocked. “That’s coming it a bit strong! I beg pardon, but—but you shouldn’t say that!” He added haltingly: “And although I should have enjoyed it, there—there are several people who don’t take to the notion. Well—Mrs Chartley won’t permit Patience to come, and, as a matter of fact—Mama won’t let my sisters either. Not to a moonlight party in the gardens!”

“There! if I didn’t say it wasn’t the thing!” exclaimed Mrs Underhill.

“Who cares whether they come or not?” said Tiffany scornfully. “If they choose to be stuffy, I promise you I don’t!”

Arthur reddened, and got up to take his leave. Mrs Underhill, acutely embarrassed, pressed his hand warmly, and gave him a speaking look; but Tiffany turned her shoulder on him, saying that he was quite as stuffy as his sisters.

“I must be going too, ma’am,” Lindeth said. “Pray tell Charlotte how sorry I am to hear that she’s so much pulled, and tell her to take care she don’t get her toes pinched by a crab when she goes sea-bathing! ... Are you coming, Laurie?”

“Oh, don’t wait for me! I have been thinking, Miss Wield, if we might perhaps get up a party to dance at one of the Assemblies in Harrogate—instead of the ridotto. Would you countenance it, ma’am? With Miss Trent, of course, or some older lady, if any might be persuaded?”

Tiffany’s eyes lit up, but Mrs Underhill looked dismayed, and faltered: “Oh, dear! No, no, don’t suggest it, Mr Calver, for it’s the very thing Mr Burford—that’s Tiffany’s uncle, and her guardian, you know—don’t wish for! Because she ain’t out yet, and he won’t have her going to public dances, for which, of course, he can’t be blamed.”

“It wasn’t he, but Aunt Burford!” said Tiffany. “The greatest beast in nature! Why shouldn’t I go to an Assembly in Harrogate! I will go. I will!”

Lindeth went quietly away, hearing the storm break behind him. Miss Trent was coming down the stairs, and paused, looking enquiringly at him. “How do you do? Tell me at once! The ridotto?”

He burst out laughing. “Well, yes! Coupled with Mrs Underhill’s saying she might not go to a Harrogate Assembly.”