The pool of St Branok

"You're not up to date with the news. You could have knocked me down with a feather. I've often said it was a pity he didn't have a wife up there ... but I wouldn't have thought of Miss Lizzie."

I began to feel a coldness take possession of me. I could not believe what I was beginning to realize. I must be mistaken.

I said slowly: "Do you mean that Mr. Lansdon is going to marry Miss Lizzie Morley?"

"That's about it. Well, she's a dear, sweet thing ... no harm in her. It's just that she's a little simple. Something went wrong soon after her birth. It was before my day," she added regretfully, as though if she had been there, Lizzie would have been as bright as the rest of us.

"Are you sure?" I heard myself stammering. "It's rather ... unexpected."

"I'm sure enough. Congratulated him myself, I did. He smiled and thanked me."

Everyone in the town was talking about the engagement.

Gervaise said: "It will please old Morley. He's devoted to that girl; and it must have been a worry to him as to what would become of her when he was gone. It's just that she's hardly the sort for Ben. Attraction of opposites, I suppose."

I could not face Ben. I avoided him as far as possible. Nor did he seek me out. But I had to go to Golden Hall to see Morwenna, for I could not abruptly stop doing that. Every time I went I was afraid I should see him. I had no idea what I should say to him.

I felt his avowal of love for me had been meaningless. I had been duped into thinking it was something else. What had been his motive? The quick seduction of another man's wife?

I realized I had led a sheltered life. I did not understand people. I made quick judgments. I had with Gervaise and consequently I had suffered because of this.

Morwenna was eager to talk of the news.

She said: "I hope he will be happy. I think he will. Lizzie is such a dear girl. She is happy ... blissfully. She always adored him. I think perhaps she is the right sort for him. He is a man who will want his own way and Lizzie would never dream of questioning anything he did. She truly loves him. I have rarely seen anyone so happy. And Mr. Morley, too, he is delighted. I think he has worried a lot about leaving her. I happen to know that he is not in the best of health. He had a slight stroke some little time ago and just before we arrived, Dr. Field told him he would have to go very carefully. He came here, you know, with Lizzie and we had a long discussion. It may be that he was so overjoyed by the engagement that he was off his guard. He said, 'I'm so glad to see my Liz settled. Ben will know how to look after her. It's a great relief because, you know, I could pop off at any minute.' So you see."

"Yes, I see."

"The wedding is going to be very soon. There is no point in waiting."

"No point at all."

"I expect Mr. Morley will see to that. You can understand a man in his state of health and caring as he does for his daughter ... he wants to make sure everything is all right for her before he goes."

"Yes," I said. "He is a very good father."

"When you are a parent you understand these things," said Morwenna with a certain pride.

All I could think of was: How could he? He must have been contemplating this when he was attempting to become my lover.

I would never trust anyone again.

I don't know how I lived through the next few weeks. Everything seemed unreal. Each day I awoke in the dreary little shack, Gervaise beside me. He never lost his cheerfulness. I suppose the gambler is a natural optimist and it is an indication of his nature that he can go on saying: "Perhaps this will be the day. Perhaps tonight I shall be a rich man." And perhaps I should have applauded it. Instead it made me impatient.

On rare occasions he won at cards. Then he would say his luck had turned and it was the beginning of change. He was going to be lucky at the mine as well as at the card table.

I knew that Justin was gambling with him and I wanted to talk of this to Morwenna, but I could never bring myself to do so. In my heart I believed that Justin was every bit the gambler that Gervaise was; but it seemed to affect him differently. He never seemed to be in those financial difficulties which were always hanging over Gervaise.

No one would have suspected this. It was only those to whom Gervaise owed money who were aware of it. He treated all with that nonchalance which I had once called charm.

Perhaps I was finding fault with Gervaise because I was in love with Ben and I was telling myself that all men were deceivers. I had been deceived by Gervaise and, being the fool I was, I had allowed myself to be deceived by Ben.

Now that I had lost him, I realized how much he had meant to me ... how I had somehow managed to keep my spirits up by looking to Ben as a means of escape ... escape to happiness. Had he really meant he would give all this up if I would go back to England with him? How could he? When he immediately turned to someone else?