The pool of St Branok

"I know. You should have come to me before ... We would have come home. Gervaise would have divorced you ..."

"You are very glib about other people's divorces."

"I know now," he said, "that being with you, loving you ... would have been more important to me than anything."

"More so than the gold mine?"

"Yes. I'd have found some other way to fortune ... just as my grandfather did. I am very like him. We think alike."

"In politics?"

"Yes, in politics. It doesn't matter if we are on different sides, I don't mean opinions. I mean aims ... the way we set about everything. There is no doubt that I am his grandson. And about us, Angel. Things haven't worked out as we wanted them to. We were both in the wrong place when we should have been together. That's how life goes. But if you don't get exactly what you want you have to take something."

"What are you suggesting?"

"That we love each other. We are here. It can't be quite as we wished ... but why shouldn't we have something?"

"You mean some clandestine love affair?"

"I mean ... something. We can't just give everything up ... because one of us isn't free. First it was you ... and now I am the one."

"And Lizzie?"

"Ah, Lizzie. She is a good girl and very innocent. I could never leave Lizzie. I feel I have a duty to her. I have promised her father that I will always care for her. She needs care."

"Your promise was a part of the price you paid for your gold mine."

"Do you remember long ago ... when we were on the moor together and you told me the story of the men in the tin mine who found gold? Those little people showed it them and the men made a bargain always to leave part of their findings to them? And they did?"

"Yes, I remember. It's a well-known legend."

"And when the sons failed ... the gold failed, too."

"Are you afraid that if you deserted Lizzie, the gold would fail? But you have finished with the gold. You have your fortune."

"I mean that if I hurt her in any way I should lose something of myself ... my self-respect, shall we say?"

"Oh, Ben, you have suddenly become very noble."

"I have never been that, as you know. But try to understand my feelings for Lizzie."

"You regard her as some sort of talisman ... like the knackers in the mine who could make some evil befall you if you deserted her ... But not so deeply that you would be prepared to have a degrading love affair with someone else ... degrading to you ... to me ... and to Liz-zie.

"You are being over-dramatic."

"No, Ben, I am not."

"You love me, do you not?"

I hesitated.

"I know that you don't want to answer because the answer is yes. You have never forgotten me."

I said: "We did share a shattering experience. You know what happened a little while ago?"

"Yes, I heard of it. They found a watch or something with his initials on it. That must have been a shock for you."

"I felt nothing more than relief at first. I had feared they would find Rebecca. She was lost and it was for that reason that they dragged the pool."

"My poor Angel! What a terrible thing for you."

"And all the time she was well. She had been taken by a woman who had lost her child and thought Rebecca was hers."

He put his arms about me and for a few moments I allowed myself the luxury of laying my head against him.

Quickly I drew away.

I said: "I think, Ben, it would be better if we did not see each other ... alone. We shall meet at the family gatherings, of course. That must be enough."

"It will not be enough for me," he said.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"We are having a dinner party next Wednesday. You have not seen my house yet. Do come."

"Who will be there?"

"My grandfather and Amaryllis, of course, Helena and Matthew and friends. I am hoping to be adopted as candidate for Manorleigh which is in Essex. There are people I should get to know."

I smiled knowledgeably.

He added: "Peterkin and Frances I hope will be there. They are, I fear, not very interested in these occasions."

"But they are good for you," I said. "Connections devoted to good works and all that."

He smiled.

"Yes," I said. "You are very like Uncle Peter."

"Grace Hume has been very helpful. She has been very good on several occasions. Lizzie clings to her. Poor Lizzie, she loses her head and is sure everything is going wrong ... and she is no good as a hostess ... but with Grace there beside her she doesn't do too badly."

"Grace has always been a help in the family ever since she came ... years ago ... Do you remember?"

"That never-to-be-forgotten time."

"She was there when ..."

"Yes, I remember. Well, she helps Lizzie with clothes and things and it is really amazing how she does it. She is often at our place—as a matter of fact when there is something special on she comes and stays."

"I am glad she is of use. In time Lizzie will get accustomed to it and she'll make a good Prime Minister's wife. I suppose that is the office for which you are aiming."

"It is always a good plan in life to aim high. You may not get right there but you get somewhere."

"I am sure you are right."

"So we shall see you on Wednesday?"