The Ranch

“I'm not there anymore. She doesn't see why they should stay with you if I'm gone. They can visit you, if I'm along,” he said, nearly choking on the words, even he was embarrassed by what Nancy had told him. “But she doesn't want them to stay there.”

“Are we talking about visitation?” Were they already there? Was she already negotiating her divorce? And where were their lawyers?

“Eventually we will be,” he explained, and they'd be talking about other things too, like the house in Malibu she'd bought with her own funds after she married Tony, but he was extremely fond of. He was the only one who used it. She never had time to, “Right now, she's talking about Wyoming.”

There was a long silence on Tanya's end as the light began to dawn. Nancy was not willing to let Tanya take her stepchildren to Wyoming. “Can this be negotiated?” she asked, sounding bitterly disappointed. It was going to be such fun, and she had looked forward to it for months. Now everything had gone wrong. Tony had left her, and the kids were being kept home by their mother. “It's a great place, Tony. Everyone says it's fabulous and the kids would love it.” He hadn't even wanted to go at first. None of them had. And she had a huge, luxurious three-bedroom cabin reserved for two weeks. “What am I supposed to do with my reservations?”

“Cancel them. Will they give you a refund?”

“No. But that's not the point. I wanted to do something special and different with the children.”

“I can't help it, Tan,” Tony said, sounding uncomfortable again. The whole thing was embarrassing. He knew how she'd been looking forward to it, and he really felt awkward, particularly since he had just left her. “Nancy says no, Tan. I did my best to convince her. Take a couple of friends. What about your old friend in New York? Mary Stuart.”

“Thanks for the suggestions.” But she was worried about something else now, something much more important. “I want to know what's happening here. Am I going to be allowed to see them again?” She wanted to hear it from him. They had no right to do this to her. And her eyes filled with tears as she asked him.

“Who?” He tried to sound vague, but he knew what she was asking. And it wasn't up to him, it was up to their mother.

“You know who I mean, dammit, don't play with me. The kids. Am I going to be allowed to see them?”

“Sure, I… I'm sure Nancy…” But she could tell that he was hedging.

“The truth. What deal did you make with her? Am I going to be able to see them?” She said it as though she were speaking to a foreigner, or someone from another planet. But he had very clearly understood the question, he just didn't know how to answer, without making her crazy.

“You'll have to work it out with your lawyer,” he said vaguely, hoping to avoid a confrontation.

“What the hell does that mean?” She was shouting at him, and rapidly losing control. She was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of panic. Why was everyone always so able to take everything away from her? The money she worked so hard to earn, her reputation, now even her children. “Are you going to let me see them or not?” She was screaming and he was cringing.

“It's not up to me, Tan. If it were, you could see them anytime. It's up to their mother.”

“My ass it's up to her. That bitch doesn't give a damn about them and you know it. That's why you left her.” That and a few other things, like a drinking problem, a penchant for gambling, and the fact that she had slept with every man he knew. More than once, he had had to go looking for her and the kids in Vegas. But in spite of that, his children were terrific, and Tanya knew she had been good for them. She wanted to remain a part of their lives now, and Nancy had no right to stop her.

“Just work it out with your lawyer.” They talked for a few more minutes and hung up, and she paced around the house that night like a lion looking for his dinner. She couldn't believe what was happening to her. He had left her, taken his life, his kids, cheated on her in Palm Springs, made a fool of her in the press, and now his ex-wife wouldn't let her see the children. But when her lawyer called her back later that night, he was not encouraging when she explained it.