The Ribbajack

Well, if you travel anywhere in the beautiful country of Ireland, wherever people live, be it town, city or village, there’s always an All Ireland Champion. Oh, it’s a fact, sure enough. Each one of these distinguished folk holds the All Ireland Medal for a variety of mar vellous things. Dancing, singing, leaping, jumping, eating, drinking, playing hurley, chasing pigs or destroying foxes, playing the fiddle or reciting poetry, to name but a few categories. But the fellow I’m about to tell you of is Roddy Mooney, the All Ireland Champion Fisherman. Roddy lived in a neat ould cottage near the river with his dear mother, the Widow Mooney, because he was scarce nineteen summers and not ould enough to start a family of his own. Did I hear you say that eighteen is a bit green for an All Ireland Champion? Well, I’m not given to lying, and by the beard of the holy Saint Patrick, you’d better believe me!

Roddy Mooney had caught more fish than Biddy Culhane had eaten hot dinners (and that’s a grand ould number if you’ve seen Biddy at the dinner table). Ah, yes, to be sure, Roddy had caught trout, perch, pike, grayling, chubb, dace, eels, lobster, crabs, garfish and all manner of watery beasts. He’d snared them with rod, line, net, gaff, spear and bare hands. Nothing ever escaped Roddy Mooney. There was not a whit of space on the walls of his ma’s cottage that was not festooned with frames, mounts and glass cases full of great stuffed fishes. Widow Mooney, good woman that she was, was forever dusting and polishing the trophies, which were the proof of her darling son’s skills as an All Ireland Champion Fisherman.

But things are never as they seem, and in actual fact, poor ould Widow Mooney was hard put to keep body and soul of them both together. She grew cabbage and spuds in season, and kept a few pigs and chickens on the plot behind her neat cottage. They never had fish, because Roddy hated the taste of scaled things. There were times when his dear ould mother would have eaten the leg off a tinker’s donkey for a nice bit of fish. But Roddy wouldn’t dream of bringing home fish to cook. He kept the finest specimens for his display, but all the rest he threw back or chopped up for bait. So, despite the fact that he was a champion angler, Roddy Mooney was a great lazy lump of a lad who would not lift a finger to help his mother, and her a widow, too. But aren’t I the one for rattlin’ on. Let’s get down to the story, and a queer ould tale it is, I promise you!

So then, there’s little Mickey Hennessy, one fine golden summer noon. Ten years old, and a slip of a boy, with no more meat on him than a butcher’s pencil. Fishing by the river, armed with no more than a crooked stick, a yard of string and a bent pin from his ma’s apron with a worm dangling from it (the bent pin, I mean, not his ma’s apron). Mickey fancied himself as a Junior All Ireland Champion. When along comes Roddy Mooney himself.

“So then, me little man, what are you doin’, tryin’ to drown that worm?” says Roddy.

Says Mickey, looking serious, “I am not. Sure, I’m after tryin’ to catch meself a Nye Add!”

Roddy looks at little Mickey as if he was christened with a vinegar bottle and had his brains completely destroyed. “A Nye Add, is it? An’ what in the name of all that’s good an’ holy is a Nye Add?”

So Mickey, being the grand lad that he is, explains all about Nye Adds (though I’m not sure if that’s the plural). “Barney Gilhooly told me that a Nye Add is a fine pretty lady who lives under the water. Barney used to be a sailor, y’see, an’ he’s the man who’d know. He said he saw many a one of them when he was off the coast of Calatrumpia years ago.”

Roddy sits himself down on the bank, next to Mickey. “Barney Gilhooly, that terrible ould fibber? All he ever sailed on was the village pond, and all he ever saw was through the bottom of a whisky bottle. So, what did Barney say a Nye Add looks like?”

Little Mickey pulls in his line. The worm is drooping, so he casts it back again for a further bath. “He said that a Nye Add is half a woman and half a fish, but a rare beauty. He said sometimes they used to come out onto the rocks, combin’ their hair an’ singin’. Sure, Barney said that the sound could drive a man mad completely!”

Roddy laughs. “Then Barney must’ve heard the Nye Add singin’, ’cos he’s as mad as Rafferty’s pig with a bee in its bonnet. Now let me get this straight, Mickey. A creature that’s half fish an’ half a woman, but not altogether either. Livin’ under the water, an’ comin’ out now and again to comb her hair an’ sing, just to drive fellers daft. Sounds like an underwater banshee to me.”

“Aye, she may be just that,” says Mickey. “Sure, I’ll let you know when I catch one an’ get a good look at her.”