The Secret Chronicles of Henry Dashwood, Vol. 2

I care not what other men may say The girl who suits my mind, Is a wench who meets me in joyous play And whilst she is good, she is kind, With her beauties never could I be cloyed Such pleasures I find at her side; For I don't love her less because she's enjoyed By another young man beside. She opens her thighs without fear or dread And points to her dear little muff, Its lips oh, so red, and all overspread With blonde hair of the fuzziest fluff. Reclined on her breasts or clasped in her arms, With her my best moments I spend, And revel the more in her sweet melting charms, Because they are shared with a friend. The Montpellier Restaurant, Cheltenham, September 30th, 1901 (Over luncheon) Poor Julian! Although we enjoyed yet another fabulous night's fucking with Harriet last night, the wheel of good fortune turned away sharply from my chum this morning. As one would expect after such frenetic exercise, Julian and I were still feeling somewhat fatigued. Indeed, for the first time in many weeks I tried to freshen up by taking the advice (given of course in a vain attempt to prevent us beginning the day with a wank) of our old games master Bunny Hare to begin the day with a cold shower. However, I was still yawning when I came down to breakfast at ten o'clock. 'Good morning, sir, I trust you slept well,' said Fletcher who was in attendance in the morning room. The butler could see from my haggard expression that I needed a pick-me-up and he continued: 'Unless you have a preference for coffee, sir, may I recommend a cup of the Darjeeling tea which Sir Talbot has shipped over directly from his brother's plantation? It's a most refreshing brew with which to begin the day.' I nodded and he passed me a warm plate and went on: 'Then I will go down to the kitchen and ask Mrs. Sawyer to brew you a fresh pot and make some more hot toast. In the meantime, would you care to serve yourself from the buffet?' 'Thank you,' I said and walked across to the sideboard to help myself to a hearty breakfast from the row of silver dishes kept hot by spirit lamps. Although I was still tired from my exertions with Harriet, I was also quite hungry and piled my plate with three rashers of bacon, two sausages, and some scrambled eggs. Then I sat down and just as I started to tuck into this appetising feast, Julian came in dressed only in pyjamas and a dressing gown, looking bleary-eyed and definitely worse for wear. He flapped a hand at me and said wearily: 'Hello there, Henry, I hope you managed to catch a few hours sleep. Unfortunately, I've developed a rotten headache.

Please forgive me but I feel uncommonly rotten and would prefer to go back to bed till I feel a bit brighter.' 'Of course, my dear chap,' I replied sympathetically. 'I could take the opportunity to go to Cheltenham and see if I can find one or two books on the reading list for my first 'Varsity term.' 'Jolly good, um, you haven't yet learned to drive a motor, have you? No matter, I'll get Fletcher to arrange for Dawson, the under-gardener, to drive you into town,' he said as he flopped into a chair to wait for the return of the butler.