The Secret Chronicles of Henry Dashwood, Vol. 2

Charles let out a throaty chuckle and said: 'My dear chap, think nothing of it, Cassie knows of the matter and it's all water under the bridge as far as Uncle Roger is concerned. Between ourselves, he wasn't put out because-now how shall I put it-although he and Elena are the very best of friends, some time ago Uncle Roger admitted to me that unfortunately he has been unable to satisfy Aunt Elena in the bedroom – or anywhere else, come to think of it! No, it's not that he's impotent,' he went on when he saw my eyebrows shoot up. “The problem hasn't been so much about his not being able to manage a stand. It's just that Uncle Roger is rather the other way inclined and has his own set of lovers. Meanwhile, Aunt Elena would like to be shafted morning, noon and night.' So I had not imagined the signals which the good-looking lady had been giving me! 'What are you smiling about?' asked Charles curiously. Then he snapped his fingers and snorted: 'Oh-ho, has my naughty aunt been giving you the eye? Well, it would be surprising if she didn't make a pass at you, Henry, because I doubt if Aunt Elena has sheathed a beefy young prick in her snatch since Nathan, the gardener's boy, left Morley Hall last July.' 'Has there been no-one else available to satisfy her needs?' I enquired. Charles shook his head and answered: 'Not really.

You see, she considers that it would be rather infra dig to let herself be shagged by one of the house servants and in any case, Polgrave is also of the homosexualist persuasion. So feel quite free to fuck my aunt tonight, you'd be doing both Elena and Uncle Roger a favour if you'd give her a good poke. Cassie knows about the way her mother deals with her unsatisfied needs, in case you're bothered.'

I grinned weakly at him and muttered that I would do my utmost to oblige the lady. I did not inform Charles that his pretty cousin expected me to return to her room later to continue our sensuous joust. Still, I would have to cross this bridge when I came to it. I downed my glass of fine, full-bodied port with a flourish. 'No, no, another will send me to sleep,' I said hastily as Charles offered me the decanter. 'Shall we join the ladies?' He refilled his own glass and swiftly swallowed down another large port. Then he rose slightly unsteadily from the table and said: 'By all means, let's see what the three of them are up to in the drawing-room. But keep your hands off the fair Fanny, old bean, she and I have an understanding, if you follow my drift.' 'I understand perfectly,' I replied and added with total sincerity: 'I assure you that I'll be busy enough without making a play for your girl.' We walked through to the drawing-room where the ladies were engaged in a game of Table Curling, a new table game Aunt Elena purchased from sclfridgcs on her last trip to London, which is played on a specially marked board with miniature hardwood 'stones'. At the ladies' request, Charles and I joined in but after about half an hour, Cassandra gently nudged me under the table and then said: 'Would you all forgive me, but I have a headache coming on and I need to go upstairs and lie down. I find that only resting in a darkened room brings relief – but I don't want to break up the party so please promise you'll continue your game. Henry, do you play bridge? Yes? Then let me say that Fanny is the most talented player in this company. She is always sought after as a partner at house parties.' 'And not only for card games, I'll be bound,' I said gallantly. 'In the meantime, may I escort you to your room, Cassandra?' 'Thank you, Henry,' she replied, placing her arm in mine and we moved towards the door. 'If this headache passes in the next hour or so, I'll be down again in about an hour. But if not, may I wish everyone a very good night and I'll see you all again in the morning.' Elena, Fanny and Charles chorused their best wishes for Cassie's speedy recovery and as we climbed the stairs she told me that Fanny was staying the night at Morley Hall. 'She's in the bedroom across the hall from Charlie's so don't be alarmed if you hear the creak of floorboards during the wee small hours!' she remarked as we reached her door. 'I'll remember that,' I said, kissing her lightly on the forehead. 'And I wish your headache better.'