The Secret to Success

I wasn’t sure which was worse, coming to grips with the fact that the program was a complete failure or dealing with the fact that I was succumbing to self-defeating thoughts… again. I took pride in the fact that I was this jubilant, upbeat person, that I was somehow able to rise above negative circumstances and defy all odds. But this one was hard to bounce back from, it knocked the wind out of me. I was no longer living for myself; I was married, so my decision had a direct impact on De. In fact, 6 months after I left my job to pursue my dreams and all savings evaporated, she decided to get a job to help make ends meet. I felt so bad because she was getting up at 5:30 a.m. to make her 6:30 a.m. clinical, stayed in class until about 3:30 and went to work until about 9:30 – 10:00 p.m. I decided the best thing to do for the sake of my marriage was to man up and call the G.E.D. program quits. Next week would be my last week. As that week was coming to an end I pulled all the students together and I made my announcement. “Guys, this has been one of the most enriching experiences of my life, in almost a year our relationship has grown, you each have grown academically and personally. I believe that for each of you the best is yet to come. With that being said, I hate to inform you that next week is my final week. None of you are the reason for my decision. In short, I am leaving for financial reasons. Over the past year I have poured my personal finances into this program and I can no longer afford to live and invest in the program.” As soon as I finished one of the most touching speeches of my career, Zanzabar, one of the top drug dealers in the city blurted out, “Did I just hear you say you were quitting? Tell me you’re kidding, right? Is this a joke?” he asked. I know “Mr. Don’t ever give into defeat” ain’t standing here telling us he’s ‘bout to give up on his dreams over money. I thought you were different Mr. Thomas but you just like the rest of them fake teachers. You don’t give a damn about us.” I am not sure if I was more stunned or embarrassed. What do you say after one of your students hangs you out to dry like that in front of the entire class? My ego had been slightly damaged, but Zanzabar was right. If there was one thing I tried to instill in them, it was that defeat was not an option, come hell or high water, never be denied and never quit short of the prize. Here I was being a hypocrite. I could not come back from that blow, so I just said, “Have a great weekend and I will see you guys Monday!” I spent that entire weekend to myself. I called on the Lord every waking hour. Father, I’m in a major jam again and I don’t know what to do. You said you would never leave me nor forsake me. That I have not because I ask not. Well, I am asking Father. I can’t afford to give up on my students but I can’t afford to keep doing it for free. Please Lord, show up and show out! Give me some sort of sign that I am doing the right thing. Less than a week later, on one of my last days, two older gentlemen walked through the doors of the community center and into the room where I held my G.E.D. classes. They just stood there and observed me in action. After I dismissed the class the two gentlemen approached me and informed that they represent the Department of Education for the State of Alabama. They said that for the past few months they had been hearing good things about the program and that they wanted to see it for themselves. They were so impressed with what they saw they offered their support. Needless to say, I accepted their help and continued teaching my class. From that day forward they purchased all the computers, software, textbooks, pencils, and took care of all my printing needs. That one act rekindled my belief in my dreams and if that wasn’t enough of a sign from God, a few weeks later, God showed up again. One evening De and I were scraping our pennies together for groceries and I felt impressed to pray over the mailbox. So we stopped, got on our knees, looked out the window and thanked God for whatever he was getting ready to do. Even though we were down to our last few pennies I truly felt as if God was about to do something special for us. After we prayed over the mailbox, the mail lady came 2 hours later. I will never forget going to the mailbox somewhat afraid. I kept thinking to myself, what if it wasn’t God? How would this affect De’s faith in me? As I got closer to the mailbox the spirit of anxiety overwhelmed me. Filled with more faith than fear, I opened the mailbox and grabbed the handful of mail. The first envelope was junk, the second was junk, the third was a bill but there was one more piece of mail that I didn’t recognize, so I ripped the edges off the side and when I opened it, it was a check for $285.00. I literally dropped the check and fell to the ground. “Thank you Father, thank you… not only for the check, but for hearing and answering our prayers.” To think I had almost given up. If it had not been for Zanzabar’s words, I would have removed myself from Miracle Territory and all the blessings that were about to follow.