The Song of the Siren

After a pause Thomas went on, “Yes, I’ve been thinking it might be easier to go back north. Try to build a new life. That was what I came here for and thanks to you all ... and Christabel ... I had a good one. Perhaps it would be best for me to move on now....”

My mother looked sad, but I could see she was working out a future for him. Let him go and find a new wife ... a new life and perhaps come back then.

“Oh, it’s all in the future,” said Thomas. “There’s a lot to be thought about yet.

But I do believe something should be done about Enderby.”

To stop them talking of Enderby I said that I heard the Lady Elizabeth Villiers was to have the Irish estates of James the Second bestowed on her.

The General’s face went deep red and he murmured, “Monstrous.”

“Let the King please his mistress,” said Carleton. “I’m surprised he has one. I wish him joy of the lady.”

“It is a pity,” said Arabella, “that things turned out as they have. Daughters against their father ...”

“True, my lady,” said the General. “I think Queen Mary must have been deeply troubled by her conscience. As indeed Anne will be if she takes the crown.”

“Not a bit of it,” cried Carleton. “England will not tolerate a Papist King. They got rid of one Papist. James is where he belongs”» exile, that’s where he’ll stay till he dies. And if William should go, God forbid that he should, for he’s been a good ruler of this country ... then it will be Anne to follow him and she’ll have the support of all those who wish this country well.”

I could see that the General was striving hard to control himself. Leigh looked uncomfortable.

He knew something of the General’s thoughts in these matters and it was typical of my grandfather to state his views and not consider whether he was offending anyone.

“Usurpation of a throne,” said the General in a quiet controlled voice, “often brings sorrow to those who take it.”

“It was hardly that. James was useless. His daughter Mary was next and William was in the line of succession too. I was against him as soon as we heard of his Papist views and I would have put Monmouth on the throne rather than let that Papist rule over us. James was defeated and he’s in exile. Let him stay there.”

“You are vehement, sir,” said the General.

“Are you not, sir?” said Carleton. “I tell you this. I feel strongly about these matters.”

“That much is obvious,” said the General.

Arabella changed the conversation tactfully and we talked of trivial matters such as whether we should have a bad winter, and even that recalled the time when the Thames was frozen and reminded poor Thomas of his meeting with Christabel.

I was rather glad when we went back to the Dower House. The General was silent and I fancied he had not greatly enjoyed his visit to my grandparents.

He and Leigh were alone together that evening and early the next morning the General took his leave of us and left.

My thoughts were occupied by Enderby. J wondered how I should feel if I could no longer go there. New people there would change the place. It would be a different house. Did I want to keep a monument to the lover who had deserted me? Would I be happier if I could no longer go to the house and brood?

It was strange but something had happened to me. An anger had come to me; it soothed my misery a little because it hurt my pride. Could it really be true that he had deliberately gone away, that he had found a richer heiress? That was what they had said. He had borrowed money on the prospects of marriage with me; he was mercenary; he had gone in pursuit of richer game. Someone abroad ... in Paris ... in Venice perhaps. He had always talked a great deal about Venice. He had never pretended that he possessed the honour of a gentleman; he had constantly stressed the fact that he was no saint. “I have a lot of the devil in me, Carlotta,” he had once said. And he made me search in his head to see if horns were sprouting there. “But then that’s what you like,” he said. “Because, let me tell you, Carlotta, there’s a bit of the devil in you.”

What a fool I was to dream that he would come back. It was more than a year now since he had gone. I pictured him living in some strange city-a castle on the Rhine, a palazzo in Italy, a chateau in France-with an heiress who was richer than I was.

And he would laughingly talk about me, for Beau would talk about his mistresses.

He jeered at that code of honour which gentlemen were supposed to respect.

I nursed my anger against him and found it was a kind of balm.

Yes, I thought, why should not Enderby be sold or let? What was the point of keeping a shrine to a false lover?

September had come. In a month’s time I should reach my eighteenth birthday and that would be a very important occasion in my life, for on that day I should receive my inheritance. I would have come of age.

There must be a special celebration, Priscilla declared, and of course my grandparents insisted that it should be held at Eversleigh, which was so much more suitable than the Dower House.