The Stainless Steel Rat Saves the World

"No reason you should. Blown up in an atomic war ages ago. Here it is. You have to be pushed backward thirty-two thousand five hundred and ninety-eight years. We can't guarantee anything better than a plus or minus three months at that distance."

"I don't think I'll notice. What year will that be?"

"Well before our present calendar began. It is, I believe, A. D. 1975 by the primitive records of the aborigines of the time."

"Not so aboriginal if they're fiddling with time travel."

"Probably not them at all. Chances are the people you are looking for are just operating in that period."

"How do I find them?"

"With this." One of the assistants handed me a small black box with dials and buttons on it, as well as a transparent bulge that contained a free-floating needle. The needle quivered like a bunting dog and continued to point in the same direction no matter how I turned the box.

"A detector of temporal energy generators," Coypu said. "A less sensitive and portable version of our larger machines. Right now it is pointing at our time-helix. When you return to this planet Dirt, you will use it to seek out the people you want. This other dial is for field strength and will give you an approximation of the distance to the energy source."

I looked at the box and felt the first bubbling and seething of an idea. "If I can carry this, I can take other equipment with me, right?"

"Correct. Small items that can be secured close to your body. The time field generates a surface charge that is not unlike static electricity."

"Then I'll take whatever weapons or armament you have here in the lab."

"There is not very much, just the smaller items."

"Then I'll make my own. Are there any weapons technicians working here?"

He looked around and thought. "Old Jarl there was in the weapons sections. But there is no time to fabricate anything."

"That's not what I had in mind. Get him."

Old Jarl had taken his rejuvenation treatments recently so he looked like a world-soiled nineteen-year-old with an ancient and suspicious look in his eye as he came closer.

"I want that box," I said, pointing to the memory unit on his back. He whinnied like a prodded pony and skittered away clutching at the thing.

"Mine, I tell you mine! You can't have it. Not fair to even ask. Without it I'll just fade away." Tears of senile self-pity rose to his youthful eyes.

"Control yourself, Jarl! I don't want to fade you out; I just want a duplicate of the box. Get cracking on it."

He shambled away, mumbling to himself, and the technicians closed in.

"I don't understand," Coypu said.

"Simple. If I am gunning after a large organization, I may need some heavy weapon. If I do, I'll plug old Jarl into my brain and use his memories to build them."

"But—he will be you, take over your body, it has never been done."

"It's being done now. Desperate times demand desperate measures. Which brings us to another important point. You said this would be a one-way trip through time and that I couldn't return."

"Yes. The time-helix hurls you into the past. There will be no helix there to return you."

"But if one could be built there, I could return?"

"Theoretically. But it has never been tried. Much of the equipment and materials would not be available among the primitive natives."

"But if the materials were available, a time-helix could be built. Now who do you know that could build it?"

"Only myself. The helix is of my own construction and design."

"Great. I'll want your memory box, too. Be sure you boys paint your names on the outside so I don't hook up with the wrong specialist."

The technicians grabbed for the professor.

"The time-fixator is losing power!" one of the engineers shouted in a voice filled with rising hysteria. "When the field goes down, we die. We will never have existed. It can't be…. "He screamed this, then fell over as one of his mates gave him a faceful of knockout gas.

"Hurry!" Coypu shouted. "Take diGriz to the time-helix, prepare him!"

They grabbed me and rushed me into the next room, shouting instructions at one another. They almost dropped me when two of the technicians vanished at the same moment. Most of the voices had hysterical overtones—as well they might with the world coming to an end. Some of the more distant walls were already becoming misty and vague. Only training and experience kept me from panicking too. I finally had to push them away from the emergency space suit they were trying to jam me into in order to close the fastenings myself. Professor Coypu was the only other cool one in the whole crowd.

"Seat the helmet, but leave the faceplate open until the last minute. That's fine. Here are the memories, I suggest the leg pocket would be the safest place. The grav-chute on your back. I assume you know how to operate it. These weapon canisters across your chest. The temporal detector here…"

There was more like this until I could hardly stand. I didn't complain. K I didn't take it, I wouldn't have it. Hang on more.