The Stainless Steel Rat Saves the World

This last was meant more as a morale booster than an assurance of action. Unlike the wild-eyed men from whom we had taken our multi-wheeled transportation, this lot was much cooler and firmer. They were dressed alike in gray one-piece plastic outfits that turned into hoods to cover their heads. Their weapons were as long as rifles, gape-orificed and lethal-looking. We trotted forward obediently when one of them waved that instruction in our direction. Another member of the closing circle stepped closer and looked us over, but not close enough for anyone who wasn't suicide-prone to attempt to seize his weapon.

"Stragitzkruml?" he said, then continued when we remained silent.

"Fidlykreepi?"

"Attentottenpotentaten?"

When there was no response to these incomprehensible requests, he turned to a bulky man with a red beard who seemed to be in charge.

"Ili ne parolas konantain lingvojn," he said in clearly accented Esperanto.

"Well, that's more like it," I answered in the same tongue. "Might I ask why you gentlemen find it necessary to pull guns on simple travelers like ourselves?"

"Who are you?" Red-beard said, coming forward.

"I might ask the same of you?"

"I am pointing the guns," he answered coldly.

"A well-made point and I bow to your logic. We are tourists from the land across the sea…." He interrupted with a short and nasty word.

"That is impossible as we both know since this is the only landmass on this planet. The truth now."

We both hadn't known, though we did now. A single continent? What had happened to Mother Earth during those twenty millennia? Lying had been no good, so perhaps the truth might work. It did upon occasion.

"Would you believe me if I told you we were time travelers?"

This hit the target all right, and he looked startled, while there was a stir of movement among the men close enough to hear what I had said. Red-beard glared them into silence before he spoke again.

"What is your connection with He and those creatures in his city up there?"

A lot depended upon my answer. Truth had worked once, and it might turn the trick again. And he had said "creatures," which was a giveaway. I couldn't believe this calm and disciplined force could be associated with the enemy.

"I have come to kill He and wipe out his operation." This really did produce the right effect, and some of the men even lowered their guns before being growled back into line. Red-beard muttered a command, and one of the men hurried off. We remained in silence until he returned with a green metal cube about the size of his head that he handed over to the commander. It must have been hollow because he carried it easily. Red-beard held it up.

"We have over a hundred of these. They have been floating down out of the sky for the past month, and all of them are identical. A powerful radio source inside leads us to them—but we cannot cut or dissolve the metal. On the outside, on five faces of the cube, they are covered with lines of writing in what appear to be different languages and scripts. The ones we can translate all read the same way. Bring this to the time travelers. On the bottom of the cube are two lines of writing that we cannot read. Can you?"

He slowly held out the cube toward me, and I took it just as gingerly as every gun was trained on my body with careful precision. The metal looked like collapsium, the incredibly tough stuff used for atomic rocket tube liners. I carefully turned it bottom up and read the lines in a single glance before handing it back.

"I can read them," I said, and they were aware of the new tone in my voice. "The first line says that He and his people will all leave this period exactly 2. 37 days after my arrival here."

There was a murmur over that, and Angelina beat Red-beard to the punch with the important question.

"What was in the second line?"

I tried to smile, but it didn't seem much good.

"Oh, that. It says that the planet will be destroyed by atomic explosions as soon as they go."

Chapter 20

The tent was made of the same gray fabric as the clothes our captors wore and was a chilled refuge from the steambath atmosphere outside. A squat machine whined in one corner, dehumidifying and cooling the air. Even cooler drinks had been produced, and I drained and brooded over mine, trying to see a way out of this dilemma before the deadly deadline was reached. Though guns were still in evidence, an unspoken truce was in effect; Red-beard decided to formalize it.

"I drink with you," he said. "I am Diyan."

It seemed very much like a ritual, so I repeated the formula and introduced myself, as did Angelina. After this the weapons vanished, and we were all much more chummy. I sat down where I could benefit from the full breeze of the cooler and decided to ask some questions myself.

"Do you people have any weapons heavier than these handguns?"

"None that are available. The few we brought have been destroyed in battle with He's forces."

"Is this continent so big you can't get more of them here quickly from your country?"