The Vivero Letter

'I couldn't stop him,' I said. That's why I'm glad Rudetsky and Fowler are dead. You see, we got rid of the air bottles, and diving without them would be bloody difficult. All we have are a few charged aqualung bottles -- the big bottles are at the bottom of the cenote. If you think I'm going to dive in those conditions, with someone screaming in my ears every time I come up, then you're even crazier than Gatt.'

Smith whirled on Fallon. 'You got me into this, you crazy old man. You had no right -- do you hear me? You had no right.' His face collapsed into grief, 'Jesus, how am I going to get out of this? I don't wanna be tortured.' His voice shook with a passion of self-pity and tears streamed from his eyes. 'Good Christ, I don't want to die!' he wept.

It was pitiful to watch him. He was disintegrating as a man. Gatt knew very well how to put pressure on a man's innermost core, and the hour's grace he had given us was not intended to be a relief. It was the most sadistic thing he had done and he was winning. Katherine had collapsed; Fallon was eaten up with cancer and self-recrimination, and Smith had the pith taken out of him by the fear of death by torture.

I was all knotted up inside, tormented by my sheer impotence to do any-thin? about it. I wanted to strike out and tear and smash -- I wanted to get at Gatt and tear his bloody heart out. I couldn't, and the sense of helplessness was killing me.

Smith looked up craftily. 'I know what we'll do,' he whispered. 'We'll give him Fallon. Fallon got us into this, and he'd like to have Fallon, wouldn't he?' There was a mad gleam in his eyes. 'He could do things with Fallon -- and he'd leave us alone. We'd be all right, then, wouldn't we?'

'Shut up!' I yelled, and then caught hold of myself. This was what Gatt wanted -- to break us down with a calculated cold cruelty. I pushed down the temptation to take out my frustrations on Smith with an awful violence, and spoke, trying to keep my voice firm and level. 'Now. you look here. Smith. We're all going to die, and we can die by torture or by a bullet. I know which I prefer, so I'm going to fight Gatt and phi going to do my best to kill him.'

Smith looked at me with hatred. 'It's all right for you. He's not going to torture you. You're safe.'

The ridiculousness of what he'd just said suddenly struck me, and I began to laugh hysterically. All the pent-up emotions suddenly welled up in laughter, and I laughed uncontrollably 'Safe!' I cried. 'My God. but that's funny!' I laughed until the tears came and there was a pain in my chest. 'Oh, safe!'

The madness in Smith's eyes was replaced by a look of astonishment and then he caught on and a giggle escaped him. to be followed by a more normal chuckle. Then we both dissolved in gales of laughter. It was hysterical and it hurt in the end, but it did us good, and when the emotional spasm was over I felt purged and Smith was no longer on the verge of madness.

Even Fallon had a grim smile on his face, remarkable in a man whose life and manner of death had just been debated by a semi-lunatic. He said, 'I'm sorry I got you into this. Smith; but I'm in it myself, too. Jemmy is right; the only thing to do is to tight.'

'I'm sorry I kicked off like that, Mr. Fallon,' said Smith awkwardly. 'I guess I went nuts for a while.' He stooped and picked up the pistol, took out the magazine and flipped the action to eject the round in the breech. 'I just want to take as many of those bastards with me as I can.' He examined the magazine and inserted the loose cartridge. 'Five bullets- -- four for them and one for me. I reckon it's best that way.'

'You may be right.' I said and picked up the revolver. I wasn't at all certain whether I'd have the guts to put a bullet info my own head if it came to the push. 'Keep a check on what's happening outside. Gatt said he'd give us an hour but I don't trust him that far.'

I crossed over to Katherine and dropped to my knees beside her. Her eyes were now dry although there were traces of tears on her cheeks 'How are you doing?' I asked.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered. 'I'm sorry I broke down -- but I was afraid -- so afraid.'

'Why shouldn't you be afraid?' I said. 'Everyone else is. Only a damn fool has no fear at a time like this.'

She swallowed nervously. 'Did they really kill Rudetsky and Fowler?'

I nodded, then hesitated. 'Katherine, Paul is dead, too. Gatt told me.'

She sighed and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. 'Oh, my God! Poor Paul' He wanted so much -- so quickly.'

Poor Paul, indeed! I wasn't going to tell her everything I knew about Halstead. about, the ways he went in getting what he wanted so quickly. It would do no good and only break her heart. Better she should remember him as he was when they married -- young, eager and ambitious in his work. To tell her otherwise would be cruel.

I said. 'I'm sorry. too.'

She touched my arm. 'Do we have a chance -- any chance at all. Jemmy?'