The Wuhan Mission

A hard looking man in a black suit hailed the limo to the curb at an abandoned wing of the airport. He nodded at each of the three men as they got out.

“Please follow me. The Chairman is waiting.”

The scientists followed the man, walking at a brisk pace along the sterile corridors of the airport’s administrative building. One of them quipped to the other next to him: “If I’d known that studying science would lead to International Travel, I… ahh”

His voice trailed off as he realized that he didn’t have anything funny to say.

They reached a door marked “Executive Office” with two guards outside, and the man knocked twice sharply and opened the door inward without waiting for an answer. He gestured for the three nervous men to enter, and shut the door behind them without following them in.

“Welcome gentlemen” said the Chairman without getting up. “I thank you for coming to see me on this very auspicious day”.

The scientists nodded and one of them mumbled almost inaudibly: “Thank you Sir.”

“In sport, in the arts and indeed in all life, the best performers have the quietest minds during the moment of truth.”

The scientists looked back at him, trying to guess where he would go next with his oncoming soliloquy.

The Chairman widened his eyes for effect:

“The King was loved.

The people of his kingdom drank contaminated spring water.

They went mad.

‘The King has gone mad’ they said.

Until the King himself drank the spring water and went mad.

‘The King has regained his sanity’ they said.”

The Chairman paused and looked at each man one by one, each completely bewildered by the Chairman’s parable.

“China has bestowed great honor on each of you.

Today, you will take three great gifts to the West.”

The Chairman opened a brown leather folder and spread out three folders on the desk with the scientists’ names on them. He gestured for the men to pick them up and open them.

“As you can see, you will all be going to America. One to Detroit, one to Los Angeles, and one to New York City. You will each take the virus through customs and go directly to the address in each of your itineraries. You will be told what to do then.

We have a well paid network of highly respected professors, high level administrators and graduate students who are PLA officers, all embedded in the most prestigious universities of America. We have access to all of their research databases. Your academic connections will be legitimate because the Americans think that we are collaborating with them.”

“The vials you will carry are labeled ‘antibodies’.

If questioned, you will explain that you are part of an American cancer research team. Your visas are just tourist visas, so it is unlikely that you will be stopped. You should hide the vials in your luggage so that a cursory search will not find them. If an official opens your vial, do not try to stop him. This will be an acceptable way to start their spread of infection.”

“Are there any questions so far?” asked the Chairman.

“Sir, if I may, ah, we are probably very bad spies. Are we the best choice?”

The Chairman blew a puff of smoke into the air above his head.

“The Americans will not be expecting a bio-weapon. In any case, I am quite certain that all of you have at some time in your lives smuggled something. It is in our blood to bring our favorite food into places where it is not allowed. Am I right?” The Chairman’s eyebrows raised high above his bulldog-like bloodshot eyes.

“You are all smugglers with some experience, am I correct in saying that?”

“Yes sir.” they replied, almost in unison. Each man reflected back to a trip where he had taken some kind of stinky, fish sauce soaked delicacy in a ziplock bag and eaten it instead of buying official, overpriced food.

“Your instructions are in your folders. Go now. Your commercial flights all leave before nightfall. Outside that door my secretaries have your suitcases already packed for you. They also have your hand luggage, your passports, and American cash. Now each of you take a vial out of one of these cases under my desk and pack it away somewhere in your checked bag.

Good luck.”

As the door shut behind the three scientists, the Chairman waved his guards to leave him alone. The moment he had the room to himself, he leaned back in his chair and smiling, let loose a long, loud, smelly, invisible cloud of flatulence.

*

Each of the three Chinese Government scientists boarded their flights to different American cities carrying the travel vials containing the Yellow Virus in their checked luggage.