Thief of Time

“Really?” said Lu-Tze. “Not many people say that the first time. They use words like ‘wonderful’.”

“It's going wrong!”

“What?”

Lobsang clutched the rope railing. “The patterns—” he began.

“History repeating,” said Lu-Tze. “They're always there.”

“No, they're—” Lobsang tried to take it all in. There were patterns under the patterns, disguised as part of the chaos. “I mean… the other patterns…”

He slumped forward.

The air was cold, the world was spinning, and the ground rushed up to enfold him.

And stopped, a few inches away.

The air around him sizzled, as though it was being gently fried.

“Newgate Ludd?”

“Lu-Tze?” he said. “The Mandala is…”

But where were the colours? Why was the air wet and smelling of the city? And then the ghost memories faded away. As they disappeared, they said: How can we be memories, when we have yet to happen? Surely what you remember is climbing all the way up onto the roof of the Bakers' Guild and finding that someone had loosened all the capping stones, because that just happened?

And a last dying memory said, Hey, that was months ago…

“No, we're not Lu-Tze, mysterious falling kid,” said the voice that had addressed him. “Can you turn round?”

Newgate managed, with great difficulty, to move his head. It felt as though he was stuck in tar.

A heavy young man in a grubby yellow robe was sitting on an upturned box a few feet away. He looked a bit like a monk, except for his hair, because his hair looked a bit like an entirely separate organism. To say that it was black and bound up in a ponytail is to miss the opportunity of using the term “elephantine”. It was hair with personality.

“Mostly my name's Soto,” said the man underneath. “Marco Soto. I won't bother memorizing yours until we know if you're going to live or not, eh? So tell me, have you ever considered the rewards of the spiritual life?”

“Right now? Certainly!” said… yes, Newgate, he thought, that's my name, yes? So why do I remember Lobsang? “Er, I was thinking about the possibility of taking up a new line of work!”

“Good career move,” said Soto.

“Is this some kind of magic?” Newgate tried to move but hung, turning gently, in the air just above the waiting ground.

“Not exactly. You seem to have shaped time.”

“Me? How did I do that?”

“You don't know?”

“No!”

“Hah, will you listen to him?” said Soto, as if talking to a genial companion. “There's probably the spin time of a whole Procrastinator being used up to prevent your little trick causing untold harm to the entire world, and you don't know how you did it?”

“No!”

“Then we'll train you. It's a good life, and it offers excellent prospects. At least,” he added, sniffing, “better than those that confront you now.”

Newgate strained to turn his head further. “Train me in what, exactly?”

The man sighed. “Still asking questions, kid? Are you coming or not?”

“How—?”

“Look, I'm offering you the opportunity of a lifetime, do you understand?”

“Why is it the opportunity of a lifetime, Mr Soto?”

“No, you misunderstand me. You, that is Newgate Ludd, are being offered, that is by me, the opportunity of having a lifetime. Which is more than you will have shortly.”

Newgate hesitated. He was aware of a tingling in his body. In a sense, it was still falling. He didn't know how he knew this, but the knowledge was as real as the cobbles just below him. If he made the wrong choice the fall would simply continue. It had been easy so far. The last few inches would be terminally hard.

“I must admit I don't like the way my life is going at the moment,” he said. “It may be advantageous to find a new direction.”

“Good.” The be-haired man pulled something out of his robe. It looked like a folded abacus, but when he opened it up parts of it vanished with little flashes of light, as if they'd moved somewhere where they could not be seen.

“What are you doing?”

“Do you know what kinetic energy is?”

“No.”

“It's what you have far too much of.” Soto's fingers danced on the beads, sometimes disappearing and reappearing. “I imagine you weigh about a hundred and ten pounds, yes?”

He pocketed the little device and strolled off to a nearby cart. He did something that Newgate couldn't see, and came back.

“In a few seconds you will complete your fall,” he said, reaching under him to place something on the ground. “Try to think of it as a new start in life.”

Newgate fell. He hit the ground. The air flashed purple and the laden cart across the street jerked a foot into the air and collapsed heavily. One wheel bounced away.

Soto leaned down and shook Newgate's unresisting hand.

“How do you do?” he said. “Any bruises?”

“It does hurt a bit,” said the shaken Newgate.

“Maybe you're a bit heavier than you look. Allow me…”

Soto grabbed Newgate under the shoulders and began to tug him off into the mists.

“Can I go and—?”

“No.”

“But the Guild—”

“You don't exist at the Guild.”

“That's stupid, I'm in the Guild records.”

“No, you're not. We'll see to that.”

“How? You can't rewrite history!”

“Bet you a dollar?”

“What have I joined?”