Three Hands In The Fountain

So it was back to Tibur. As we moved away from the sunny riverbank a startled kingfisher swooped away in a brilliant flash of colour. Behind us a dragonfly hovered in stunning livery above the sparkling and seemingly clear waters of the contaminated Anio.

FIFTY ONE

For discovering our festival-visitor, Tibur itself still seemed the best base. Back along the Via Valeria we saw little to interest us. There were one or two grand country homes, their porticos bearing the names of famous men, although most lay deserted and some of the names were so illustrious that even the high-ranking Frontinus blenched at, the thought of politely suggesting that the current generation might be involved in a long and extremely sordid series of murders. In between, the farm-owners geared their trips to Rome to markets rather than festivals. The absentee land lords, of whom there were plenty, ruled themselves out by their very absence as they do from most responsibilities.

Back in Tibur my own reception was mixed. Julia Junilla was crying when I arrived at the nettle patch farm. `Dear, dear – come to Father!' As I picked her up, mere tears turned

to lusty, red-in-the-face screams.;-

`She is wondering who this stranger is,' Helena suggested, mildly, above the row.

I could take a hint. `And what are you thinking, my darling?'

`Oh I remember all too well.'

The baby must have remembered too, because she suddenly welcomed me with a very squelchy burp.

Lucius Petronius, my beaten-up partner, was looking better. His bruises were fading. By lamplight he just looked as if he hadn't washed his face for a week. He could now move about more freely too, when he bothered to exert himself. 'So how was seeking, suspects in Sublaqueum?

`Oh, just how I like it – all gazing at idyllic scenery and thinking poetic thoughts.'

`Find anything?'

`Charming people who never go anywhere. Clean-living country types who lead blameless lives and who tell me oh, no, they entertain no suspicions that any of their pleasant neighbours may be cutting up: female flesh in some grim little hut in the woods.'

He stretched his big frame. I could tell that our convalescent boy was started to feel bored. `So what now?'

`Back to Rome, fairly urgently. But I'm quickly going to double-check some of the fancy villas Julius Frontinus went to earlier.'

`I thought you sent him to the ones that would refuse you access?'

`I'm going disguised as an itinerant handyman – the type I know every one of them will welcome with open arms.'

He raised an eyebrow sceptically. `Does that type exist?'

`Every fine home in the Empire has at least one fountain that won't work. I shall offer to fix it for them -' I grinned at him. `And you can come along as my terrible apprentice if you want.' Petronius accepted readily, though he did try to convince me his natural position was as the fountain fixer's manager instead. I said since he looked like a roughneck fresh from a tavern fight he had to play the tool-carrying role. `Next door's kitchen maid not up to much then?'

`Too young,' he smirked. `Too bloody dangerous. Besides,' he admitted, `she smells of garlic and she's dafter than a painter's brush.'

Every investigation should include an interlude where the trusty informer puts on a dirty one-sleeved tunic, slicks his hair back with salad oil, and sets off to knock on doors. I had done it before. Petronius, used to imposing his requests for information by means of a cudgel and a threat of imprisonment, had to learn a few tricks – mainly how to keep -quiet. Still, his Auntie Sedina assured him he was perfect at looking gormless (the first requirement in a tradesman). Helena put us through a rehearsal, at which she made various sound suggestions, such as `Pick your nose with more conviction!' and `Don't forget to suck your teeth' and murmur, "Ooh! This looks like a tricky one; I think you've got a problem here… "'

The way it worked was this: dressed in scruffy togs and carrying a large bag which contained various heavy chunks of equipment we had collected from the farm outbuildings,