Tickled Pink

But you know me, I'm not going to lecture you. You're a big boy, you can do what you want with your life. I was so sorry to hear that little house just down the way from you wasn't available anymore! It would have been perfect. It's getting so hard for me to take care of all of the outside things, since your father passed. It would be nice to have you right down the street.

I sure do wish you would call more often. Your letters are nice, but with your job, I'm sure you can afford to call your mother at least once a week! Oh, and I really am sorry I upset your roommate while you were gone on that business trip. I didn't mean to wake her, but you know, a mother worries, and I saw on the news that there was a gas leak somewhere in Ohio. If you'd told me you were going to be in Pittsburg that week, I never would have called!

The bus ride home was all right, although my back was killing me by the time I got home. I'm sure it was that little twin bed. I'm just used to a much firmer mattress.

The dog was a comfort to me at night, though, I tell you. He's the best thing that ever happened to you, that Felix. What a sweetheart. I couldn't stand him locked up in that awful cage. What kind of woman keeps an animal in a cage?

I did have a little concern about him that night he got sick, but I'm sure it wasn't the chocolates. He was chewing on something at the end of the bed and it woke me right up. I didn't know what it was… it looked like… well, like some sort of lacy, black slingshot? I took it from him right away and tossed it in the trash, but he kept going back after it so I tucked them in the night table drawer. I'm sure that's what ended up making the poor dear so sick.

Anyway, thank you for giving me some of those wonderful Polaroid pictures you had me take of you and your roommate by the tree. Amazing gadgets aren't they?

Aren't you glad I bought you one? You can see the picture develop right before your very eyes… what will they think of next? They sure don't hold together very well when you cut them, though… not like real pictures at all!

And now… John… I have to tell you something. I wouldn't mention it, but honestly… it's for your own good.

You need to be more careful and keep an eye on your things, because I think your roommate has been "borrowing" your camera. I really do question that girl's morals. Did you know that there are naked pictures in her room? I can only assume they are of her-wearing some sort of… I don't even know what!

And before you start in on me, it wasn't my fault, I was looking for a blanket to cover Felix up with and found them in a drawer! All I can say is that I'm just so glad she's reading the books I gave her for Christmas. Perhaps there is hope that won't burn in hell after all.

I will definitely have Easter dinner here. I'll make you a big ham! Please bring Felix with you, though. I will make up the guest room for him! If your roommate wants to come, too, well that's okay. There's always the pull-out couch. Your room is the same as it always was, darling, and always will be. You know that.

Love to you and call me soon,

Mother

p. s. About the missing serving tray. All I can say is, if your "roommate" was sleeping in her own bed…she would have already found it.