Tigerheart’s Shadow

Tigerheart could hardly believe his ears. “Now?” Suddenly the rain seemed to harden, filling his eyes and his nose, pressing in on every side until Tigerheart felt he was drowning. Leader? The responsibility snatched his breath. Every cat in the Clan would look to him for guidance, and rely on him to protect them. And I’d never be able to join Dovewing. His heart seemed to split with pain. His paws ached to run from the camp and keep running until he could escape from the endless rain and responsibility and think only of her and his kits.

He realized Rowanstar was staring at him questioningly. “I—I…” He could do no more than stutter.

“You aren’t ready,” Rowanstar answered for him gently. He dipped his head sympathetically. “You are still young and inexperienced. It takes courage to lead.”

“I’m not scared,” Tigerheart meowed quickly. “But there are other things I have to think about—”

Rowanstar hardly seemed to hear him. He seemed caught up in his own thoughts. “But if you don’t wish to lead, then you must learn to follow.” He lifted his chin, as though unaware of the lashing rain. “When I make a decision, you must obey. No arguing. No contradicting. You must follow me without question.”

Tigerheart nodded. What else could he do but agree? If he refused to lead, then he couldn’t undermine his leader. “I can do that,” he promised.

“I hope so,” Rowanstar meowed gravely. With a flick of his tail, he turned away and stalked back to Tawnypelt, who was waiting outside his den. Together they disappeared into its shelter.

Tigerheart crossed the clearing. He wanted to look up at the open sky, where the branches of the encircling trees didn’t touch. He stared at the gloomy clouds, which hid the night sky, and breathed deeply through the rain. He’d had a chance to lead ShadowClan. Should he have taken it?

As doubt swirled around him, paw steps sounded at the camp entrance.

Scorchfur and Snowbird padded into camp. Scorchfur was carrying a rabbit between his jaws. He dropped it at Tigerheart’s paws. “SkyClan left this at the border.”

Snowbird looked at the rain-soaked rabbit. “I guess the argument is settled.”

“You were right to stop the battle.” Scorchfur dipped his head to Tigerheart. “You showed SkyClan that ShadowClan deserves respect without blood being shed.”

Snowbird glanced around the deserted clearing. “Rowanstar would have let us fight,” she breathed in a hushed mew. “Puddleshine would be treating our injuries right now. But we have a rabbit instead of wounds because of you.”

Scorchfur nodded. “If you’d been leader in the first place, ShadowClan wouldn’t be in the state it is now.”

Tigerheart stiffened. “That’s not true. Rowanstar hasn’t caused our suffering. That was Darktail’s fault.”

“If we’d had a strong leader, Darktail would never have been able to take over,” Snowbird argued.

“Rowanstar doesn’t know how to lead,” Scorchfur agreed. “From now on, we will only take our orders from you.”

Tigerheart’s belly tightened. No! He’d just promised his father he wouldn’t undermine him. “You can’t—” But Snowbird was already heading to her den. Scorchfur had picked up the rabbit and was carrying it to the fresh-kill pile.

I’m not leader, but I must lead. Tigerheart’s thoughts spun. Without letting Rowanstar see what I’m doing. How was that possible? He felt trapped, tangled by the need to help his Clanmates while honoring his father. Would he ever be able to escape ShadowClan’s plight? What about Dovewing? What about my Clan? His heart ached while questions twisted his thoughts into knots. What about me ? Am I destined to be alone, separated forever from Dovewing and my kits?

Chapter 9

Tigerheart shifted in his nest. Snowbird and Scorchfur’s words earlier that night still rang in his ears. From now on, we will only take our orders from you. The den was damp. The moss at the bottom of his nest was soaked with rain. It chilled his pelt. Stonewing and Grassheart breathed softly beside him, lost in sleep. Strikestone turned in his nest with a grunt and began to snore. Tigerheart pushed himself deeper into his nest and tried to sleep.

What should he do? He couldn’t please everyone. The cats he cared about all wanted something different from him. Dovewing wanted a mate; his unborn kits needed a father; Rowanstar needed his obedience; his Clanmates wanted his leadership. He couldn’t help one cat without hurting another.

StarClan, guide me! He sat up in his nest, staring at the roof of the warriors’ den. The stars were so far away, above the brambles, above the rain, beyond the thick clouds. Could his ancestors even see what was happening?