Titans of Chaos

I made myself wait, despite the bubbling sense of triumph rising inside me, and I made myselfpause and look thoughtful, and I am sure I fooled nobody, because I am the world's worst actress.

With as much dignity as I could muster, I said to Vanity, "Go get the boys. We are going toexchange oaths with Mr. Archer."

While she was gone, he and I stood, awkwardly saying nothing for a moment. At least it wasawkward for me. Guys do not usually feel a need to talk, because maybe they aren't curious aboutwhat people are up to, or their brains are built wrong, or something, and getting them to open upis like pulling teeth.

"I'm curious," I said. "Um, Mr. Imperial Majestic-"

"Let us not stand on ceremony," he said, leaning on his Turkish-style bow. "Just call me

'Handsome,' that'll do."

"Your Handsomeness, I was just curious about-"

"You want me to make someone love you? Who, Boggin? Wouldn't make him any nicer. He'd stillbe your enemy, except now he'd lust after you, too. Or maybe, should I say, more? And him amarried man. Hmph."

"No!" I said, my face hot. I could feel my ears blushing hot, even in places where I thought earsdid not have capillaries. "I was going to ask about, about... something else... an unrelated topic."

"What topic?"

I groped for one. "The Norse gods! Odin and Thor. Are they around? And, and, I dunno, Aztecgods and stuff?"

"They're around, some of them. Some of them are us, called by other names in Germany, andsome are homegrown. They call Uranus by the name of Ymir, and claim Hermes, Vili, and Vekilled him, not Saturn, the liars. A lot of the Norse guys were wiped out during our last war withChaos. Jormungander was like your friend Victor, and Fen-rir was like your friend Colin. Surturis a first cousin to Quentin Nemo on his mother's side. You folks do a lot of damage when youcooperate.

"Whom else did you ask about? The ten thousand gods of Japan are real, and we've had a fruitfulrelationship with Amaterasu-o-mi-kami and her folk for years. The Aztec gods are mostly wipedout by the gods of Iberia, Cario-ciecus and his crew. Never heard of them? Iberian. They wereclose enough relations to absorb, and we could steal their honors. I am glad they were aroundlong enough to deal with the New World gods, because the Aztecs were a nasty, filthy bunch. Youwouldn't want to meet them."

"Why do you hide from the humans?"

"We need the worship. If they saw us as we were, they'd hate us."

"But they don't worship you, not the pagan gods, not anymore."