Ultimate Collection

The torrent's might, the dizzy height,

Shall never bate their breath,

With desert's toils they match their might,

And hurl their mocks at Death.

The tropic creek, the jungle reek

That steams through sullen trees,

The boding wild where leopards shriek

Holds never fear for these.

Nor do they shrink from hell's own brink,

When kites low wheeling fly,

And circling near the jackals slink,

And sands stretch bare to sky.

Far swing their trails through calms and gales,

From Polar sea to Horn,

From bleak ice-glittering peaks and vales,

To sun-kissed seas of morn.

In driving snow, where artic floe

Surges though ice-reft straits,

Where bergs sweep southward, row on row,

And wind fiends shriek their hates.

Where the broad sun smiles on a hundred isles

With the long sea reach between,

And the lone gull wheels for a thousand miles,

And the reefs lift fanged and lean.

On Polar trails where the screeching gales

Bellow and roar and blow,

And the skies are gone while the firece wind rails,

And the path fades in the snow.

By atolls lean where ships careen,

In the sullen, still lagoon.

And crouching bushman's spear is a sheen

In the light of the shuddering moon.

In the marshy swamp, in the jungle damp,

Tall trees in marching lines,

That echo again to the tusker's tramp,

Where the tiger glides through the vines.

On mountains bleak, on cliff and peak,

From Pole to Pole and Line,

Adventure still they ever seek,

Adventure still they find.

Rules of Etiquette

Table of Contents

Rule I.

ALWAYS BE POLITE

If a girl stops you to talk while you are chasing your trains,

And it looks like they're going to lose ye,

Just up with your musket and knock out her brains,

Saying, "Miss, you'll have to excuse me."

Rule II.

NEVER BE RUDE

IF a tiresome guy should hapopen to call,

And stay and stay without leaving at all,

Just heave him out of the door on his dome,

And maybe he'll take the hint and go home.

Rule III.

BE CONSIDERATE OF LADIES

If you were going down the street,

And a pretty girl you chance to meet,

Don't hit her if she should you slight,

A swiftish kick is more polite.

Rule IV.

EXAMPLES

There was a guy named McDoodles,

With a face like an Austrian poodle's,

When folks said, "What a beeze--

You big piece of cheese!"

Why, he'd wallop them all on their noodles.

Rule V.

BE COURTEOUS

When a tailor's solicitor calls at your door,

Don't make him a greeting with your forty-four;

Don't give him a scowl and a horrible glare,

And say, "You poor fish! You bum! Take the air!"

He may be a bum and he may be a boob,

But it's none of your business if he's even a rube.

He's a human, although he may not look the part,

Either give him some clothes or a good running start.

Sailor

Table of Contents

I saw a mermaid sporting in the bay,

Far down, far down where blew no roaring gale;

About her snowy shoulders flashed the spray,

The waves played emerald at her sinewy tail;

She swam a jade and golden, star-set way,

Where all the rainbow colors seemed to play—

She vanished at the Swedish captain's hail

Who bid me go to Hell and furl a sail.

The Sand of Time

Table of Contents

Slow sift the sands of Time; the yellowed leaves

Go drifting down an old and bitter wind;

Across the frozen moors the hedges stand

In tattered garments that the frost have thinned.

A thousand phantoms pluck my ragged sleeve,

Wan ghosts of souls long into darkness thrust.

Their pale lips tell lost dreams I thought mine own,

And old sick longings smite my heart to dust.

I may not even dream of jeweled dawns,

Nor sing with lips that have forgot to laugh.

I fling aside the cloak of Youth and limp

A withered man upon a broken staff.

San Jacinto

Table of Contents

Flowers bloom on San Jacinto,

Red and white and blue.

Long ago o’er San Jacinto

Wheeling vultures flew.

Long ago on San Jacinto

Soared the battle-smoke;

Long ago on San Jacinto

Wild ranks smote and broke.

Crimson clouds o’er San Jacinto,

Scarlet was the haze—

Peaceful o’er calm San Jacinto

Glide the drowsy days.

The second, longer one reads as follows:

Red field of glory

Ye knew the wild story;

Blazing and gory

Were ye on that day!

Silence before them,

(Warriors; winds bore them!)

Red silence o’er them

Followed the fray!

Horror was dawning!

Furies were spawning!

Hell’s maw was yawning,

Fate rode astride!

Skies rent asunder!

Plains a-reel under

Feet beating thunder!

Death raced beside!

Doom-trumps were pealing!

Armies were reeling!

Satan was dealing

The cards in that game!

War-clouds unfurling!

Hell-fires were swirling,

Valkyries whirling

Fanned them to flame!

Redly arrayed there

Glittered the blade there!

Many a shade there

Fled to the deeps!

Wild was the glory

Down the years hoary

Still the red story

Surges and leaps!

The Sea

Table of Contents

The sea, the sea, the rolling sea!

High flung, wide swinging, so wild and free,

The leaping waves with their white-capped crest

The plunge and lunge on the ocean's breats

Like wild, white horses racing free,

With the swing of the rolling, surging sea!

The white sea cloud that drifts like a dream;

The sea-gulls that skim o'er the waves, and scream;

The dolphin's plunge and the petrel's nest,