Understanding Asexuality

Again, you may be thinking, What does all this have to do with asexuality? Well, plenty. First, if a common definition of asexuality is experiencing a lack of sexual attraction, being asexual doesn’t necessarily mean that one is incapable of being sexually aroused. In fact, for many asexual people, physical arousal is not an issue. As one asexual person describes, “I did, you know, test the equipment… and everything works fine, pleasurable and all, it’s just not actually attracted to anything” (Brotto, Knudson, Inskip, Rhodes, & Erskine, 2010, p. 612). Note that this quote also suggests that there may be subjective arousal as well: knowing that one’s body is aroused and even liking this feeling (pleasure). In short, a lack of sexual attraction does not automatically mean a lack of physical or subjective arousal.

Having finished with the two A words of sex, let’s move on to B: behavior. Behavior is what we do—that is, our actions. There are a variety of overtly sexual activities, both solitary and partnered: masturbation, fondling, oral sex, intercourse, and so forth. However, it is not just the acts themselves but also with whom we do them that comprises our sexual behavior. Thus, a sex researcher interested in behavior may ask participants about their frequency of oral sex and also with whom they do this activity (e.g., men, women, or both). Indeed, there has been a tradition in the social sciences to use behavior as the main focus of study or interest, or as the key dependent variable. People’s thoughts and feelings were not of primary interest, in large part because it was felt that these aspects of the mind, although obviously important, were not amenable to clear measurement. Alfred Kinsey, the twentieth century’s well-known pioneer of human sexuality, was of this tradition and was most comfortable with assessing and discussing (sexual) behavior. It is not surprising that his famous books have the word behavior in the titles: Sexual Behavior in the Human Male and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (Kinsey, Pomeroy, & Martin, 1948; Kinsey, Pomeroy, Martin, & Gebhard, 1953).

Kinsey described people’s sexual orientation on a point scale from zero to six, again mostly based on their behavior (what they did and with whom). Kinsey sixes are exclusively gay/lesbian, while Kinsey zeroes are designated as exclusively heterosexual. Those in the middle (e.g., two to four) were designated as bisexual. This scale assumes that all people have a high level of sexual interest in their preferred sexual partners. Thus, it does not accommodate asexuality. However, Kinsey did have a name for those who just didn’t fit on this scale: Xs. So, at a party (okay, a rather unusual party), someone asks, “Are you a Kinsey zero (exclusively straight)? Perhaps a Kinsey three (bisexual)? Or perhaps a Kinsey six (exclusively gay)?” An asexual person schooled in the Kinsey scheme may reply, “Well, actually, I am a Kinsey X.”