Voices in a Haunted Room

“I suppose so. It’s the ancestral home, after all. It’s usual for sons to bring their wives to the house which will one day be theirs. I see what you are thinking. In a way there’ll be three mistresses of the house. Two have worked out very satisfactorily, haven’t they?”

“You are my mother. That’s different”

She was thoughtful. “Millicent is rather a forceful young lady,” she mused. “It’s a strange situation. Twin brothers ... and Eversleigh belongs to them both. There isn’t an elder son really, though Jonathan was born a little while before David.

Dickon doesn’t say much about it. I believe he thinks there will be plenty for both of them when the time comes, which pray God will not be for a very long time. And Eversleigh will always be the family home. Claudine, don’t worry about this marriage.

It’ll be all right. I shall be here. And I think they will spend a great deal of time at the London house. That’s where Jonathan’s interest lies. He is rarely here for very long stretches at a time. He was ... just before Christmas. I have never known him to stay so long before.”

My heart was beating uncertainly, and again I had one of those impulses to confess all to her.

Fortunately it passed.

“They’ll be announcing their engagement soon,” went on my mother. “They will have to put off the wedding for a while, however, because of Sabrina’s death. But there could be a quiet wedding at Pettigrew’s place, of course.”

I closed my eyes.

“You’re tired, aren’t you? It was rather a strenuous morning. And all that Danton talk at the table! I’m so tired of it ... and it always upsets me. It brings back memories.”

“Dear Maman, don’t think of it now.” I smiled at her wryly and said as she so often said to me: “It’s bad for the child.”

I saw the smile on her lovely face. She pressed my hand and we both closed our eyes.

I guessed that in spite of everything, she was thinking of that terrible time when she was in the hands of the mob and Dickon had come, like a shining knight, to rescue her. My thoughts were of Jonathan married to Millicent, living here in Eversleigh; and at the back of my mind loomed up the sly eyes of Mrs. Trent, telling me that she was sure I should want to do all I could for Evie if she explained ... What had she meant? The oppressive weight of my guilt had descended on me once more.

The afternoon was warm. I had walked across the lawn and sat down on the seat near the pond about which the yellow daffodils were waving in the slight breeze.

I looked at the beautiful flowers, and I thought then, as I had a thousand times before, how happy I could have been if I had been a faithful and virtuous wife to David.

Jonathan came quietly across the grass and stood behind me. As he laid a hand on my shoulder I turned and got to my feet.

“No,” he said. “Sit down. I have to talk to you.”

He drew me down and sat beside me.

“Don’t be so agitated,” he said. “What is wrong with this? Brother and sister-in-law sitting side by side on a seat in the garden exchanging pleasantries. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I was going in,” I said.

“And now you will stay and chat for a while. I want to tell you something.”

“I know. You are engaged to Millicent Pettigrew.”

“So you knew.”

“My mother told me. There would have been an announcement but because of the funeral it has been held back.”

“You mustn’t think this makes any difference.”

“What do you mean? I should have thought there would have been a great difference between being married and unmarried.”

“I meant to us, of course. I’m still in love with you.”

“Jonathan,” I said, “I don’t think you have ever been in love with anyone except yourself.”

“I think that most of us, if we’re honest, have to admit to a lifelong passion for ourselves.”

“Some people care for others too.”

“That’s what I’m telling you. I have always loved you. I always shall and nothing is going to make any difference.”

“Haven’t you understood that all that is over? I thought I had made it rather clear.”

“You’ve been different, of course, aloof. But that is natural. It’s all this baby business.”

“You haven’t understood at all. I deeply regret what happened. I have been weak and foolish and everything that is despicable.”

“You were adorable. You are a passionate woman, Claudine. You have desires like the rest of us and it is only natural that you should gratify them.”

“I am very satisfied with what I have. I wish to God I had never done what I did.”

“You have forgotten that joy we had together.”

“It meant little.”

“Oh come now, Claudine. You have the maternal spirit with you now. It will be different when the child is born. You’ll come back to me then.”

“I wonder what Millicent would say if she could hear her prospective bridegroom trying to make assignations with someone else’s wife even before the engagement to her is officially announced.”

“You don’t propose to tell her.”

“No, I don’t. And I don’t propose to see you alone again ever.”

“You are most dramatic. That’s the French blood. You’ll feel differently later on.”

“You are quite-cynical.”