Von Neumann’s War

Caller: Hello, Ret. I served in the 801st for six years and I have to tell you that this is something we’ve never trained for. As far as I can tell we’ve lost all satellite communications and GPS. We’ve lost our capabilities to use radar and radio comms. And it looks like even flying is now out of the picture. When was the last time you saw a plane in the sky?

Ret Ball: That is a good point, Bart. I haven’t seen a plane for at least a week now. What do you make of it?

Caller: My guess is that the Chinese and the Russians put up a good fight and tipped the machines off to human military technologies and tactics. If those things can take out our sats then why not our planes? I bet they’re doing to us just what we did to Saddam in the Gulf Wars and putting the planet under a no-fly zone.

Ret Ball: Oh my gosh! I never thought of that. I bet you are right, caller. Thanks for the call. Aha, Megiddo is on line three! Hello, Megiddo you are on the Truth Nationwide. Tell us what you know.

Caller: Hi, Ret. My wife and I have taken to underground literally and I suggest that we all do this. I’ve been thinking about the Von Neumann probes’ mode of attack.

Ret Ball: Yes, do tell.

Caller: Well, they’re attacking the cities and the industrialized complexes. But they aren’t doing this because they’re militarily significant.

Ret Ball: Oh? Then why?

Caller: Materials. It’s plain and simple. The alien machines must need raw materials to replicate themselves. And what better place to find a lot of already refined materials than in the big modern cities? Think about how much metal is in one office building alone. The thoughts of that are staggering because it must have taken them several years to transform the Martian surface. And then it took them more than a year to transform the Moon. But not Earth. We have so many materials available and ready for them that they probably can’t eat it fast enough. That is probably the only thing slowing them down!

Ret Ball: My God! You speak truth, my friend!

Caller: Indeed! I suggest everybody get out of the cities and make as far into the wilderness as you can. Prepare by finding natural sources of water and foods and bring and store as much nonperishable foodstuffs as you can. I can only imagine what the poor people in the occupied regions are going through.