Von Neumann’s War

Charlotte slapped at Tina’s finger, then dragged the mouse pointer down to the scope controls icon. Charlotte bit at her lip while she cycled the scope to point to the tower. After a second or two of refocusing, the red light from the tower filled the laptop’s screen.

“Shit, I don’t understand.” Charlotte realized that she had just cursed in front of her teacher and held her hand over her mouth.

Mr. Anders acted as though he hadn’t heard and shook his head. “I don’t understand it either.”

* * *

Ret Ball: Tina from Boulder, Colorado, you are on the Truth Nationwide.

Caller: Yeah Ret, oh my God I can’t believe I’m on the radio. (giggle)

Ret Ball: Well, believe it or not you are on the Truth Nationwide with Ret Ball. What can I do for you tonight, Tina?

Caller: Yeah, me and my buddy Charlotte looked at Mars last night through her telescope and it ain’t red at all. Like that Megiddo fellow said. It’s gray.

Ret Ball: Really? How old are you and Charlotte?

Caller: Well I’m thir-… uh… eighteen.

Off-phone, female voice, faint: Dingbat!

Caller: But we really did see it and it was gray not red!

Ret Ball: Out of the mouths of babes. Next caller is Tim from Beantown. Go ahead Tim you are on the Truth Nationwide.

* * *

“I’m glad y’all could make it tonight.” Roger held up his beer glass while Tom and Alan made themselves comfortable on the wooden stools. “I went and did some checking of my own. Traci was right. There is a noticeable difference in the surface albedo of Mars. This one paper I found by a J.H. Davis, et al., even had some really good Hubble data from a year and a half ago. Interestingly enough, the paper says there will be another run from Hubble on Mars this past year, but I’ve looked everywhere and can’t find it. I even called up to Johns Hopkins and got stonewalled about it. I wanted to discuss the ramifications of that with y’all.”

“You never learn, do you?” Traci laughed. Tom had started to pour himself a beer, but Traci appeared as if from nowhere and slapped him on the hand.

“Yeah, Tom,” Alan chuckled, “that’s her job.”

“Shift change… I just got here and I’m running sooo late tonight.” Traci smiled at the three men and finished pouring the beer, then adjusted her T-shirt so it was tighter across the front.

“Wings tonight fellows?”

“Nah, just beer, I think,” Roger said, sliding his now empty glass towards her.

“Hey, beer is food,” Alan said. “Cheers!”

“I’ll have some curly fries,” Tom told her. Traci wrote something down on a piece of paper and attached it to the wire above her head. “ORDER IN!” She smiled, slid the order down the wire, and turned to her other tables.

“So what gives, Rog?” Alan sipped his beer.

“I think it’s a muster point,” he said.

“What is a muster point?” Tom leaned in to listen better.

“It’s a point or location where forces gather to prepare for further advancement. But that’s not important right now,” Alan replied with a grin.

“Be serious for a moment, Alan,” Tom said sonorously. “I know it’s not in your nature, but you simply have to apply yourself. You can do it. Maybe not doctoral level sobriety, but masters level should be possible.”

“I guess this was the wrong day to stop drinking beer then,” Alan said, still grinning as he killed off his beer. He was the only one of the three who had, as he put it, “gotten a real job” after getting his masters. Ergo, he was not a “doctor,” simply a lowly schlub engineer with a masters.

“I think that Mars is being used to muster resources,” Roger said. He contemplated his beer glass and seemed more serious than usual. “I did a calculation from some of that data I found on the Internet and the rate of change of Mars’ surface albedo is so nonlinear that there is no way this is some sort of natural phenomena.”

“What, you think it’s aliens?” Tom asked with a laugh.

“Yes,” Roger said flattly monotone.

Alan put his beer down, picked it back up as if to drink the last backwash from it, and set it down without drinking. “You’re serious, aren’t you, Rog?”