Von Neumann’s War

“So what do you think?” Alan asked.

“Future Combat Systems, huh? That suggests that they have at least a Secret clearance, right?” Roger popped the soft drink can top.

“Yes. So, do I bring them in?”

“Bring ’em in.” Roger nodded. “In the meantime, how many alien invasion movies have we watched thus far?”

“Well, so far, we’ve seen thirteen of the eighty-seven movies and television shows we compiled.” Alan counted in his head for a second. “No, wait, make that fourteen.”

“Well, let’s keep at it.”

“At the six to seven movies a day that we’re taking in, it should take us about fourteen or so days to finish. That is, assuming we work weekends. Again.”

“Good assumption,” Roger said taking a swig of the soft drink and swishing it around in his mouth.

“Who’d ever have thought that the NRO would pay us to sit around and watch alien invasion movies?” Alan finished off his coffee.

“Nice work if you can get it, right?” Roger said with a smile. “I’ll meet you in the conference room and we’ll get back at it. I’m gonna stop by the secretary’s office and have her order us some pizzas. Why don’t you get these CASTFOREM guys briefed and modifying their code? They should be ready to start simulating flying saucers and such in — How long did you say?”

“Fourteen days.”

“Right, fourteen days.” Roger finished off his Mountain Dew and threw the empty can at the wastebasket in the corner of the break room. He missed. “By then we should be done with the movies. Then we start cracking the books.”

* * *

Tina had spent the last few months staying with her friend Charlotte since her mom had been temporarily transferred to Florida. Her brother Carl had been staying with one of his buddies — he and his mother hadn’t really been that close since the divorce anyway, so the separation from their mother didn’t really impact him as much as it had Tina.

Tina, on the other hand was close to her mother and although she liked Charlotte better than a sister, she really missed her mother and wanted to go home for a while. Her mother, Alice, was the quintessential soccer-mom (actually a cheerleader mom in Tina’s case) and for her to be away for so long a period of time was hard for both of them. But Tina understood, or she knew that Alice hoped she did, that only something really important could keep her away from her family for so long.

Fortunately, Alice had gotten a two-week vacation and had planned to spend all of it in Denver with her kids. Of course, Tina’s sixteen-year-old brother Jason had more important plans than to be hanging around with his thirteen-year-old little sister and his mother on a Saturday night. So Tina and Alice were hanging out by themselves at home for the first Saturday evening in over four months. Oh, sure, Tina had visited her mother in Florida for the launch of the rocket her mother had worked on, but that wasn’t the same.

“So, what did you want to do tonight?” Alice propped her feet up on the ottoman in front of the couch. “It feels so great to be home.”

“Uh huh.” Tina looked up from the television and nodded. Tina tapped the view button on the remote so that the time was displayed on the upper left corner of the screen. “Well, if you don’t mind I’d like to watch my show in five minutes. But after that, I don’t care. Maybe we could rent a movie or something?”

“Sure, what show is it that you want to watch?” Alice was almost afraid to ask.

“Weeelll,” Tina hesitated. “You’re not gonna believe this but Charlotte got me hooked on it. It’s on the Cartoon Network and it’s called Justice League Unlimited.”

“Oh yeah, what’s it about?” Alice had always thought that Charlotte was a good influence on her daughter, so this intrigued her.

“It has all the superheroes in it. You know, Wonderwoman — she’s my favorite — Superman, Batman, Supergirl, the Martian Manhunter, Flash, and every superhero you can think of,” she replied sheepishly.

“Oh yeah, does it have Spiderman in it?” Alice asked then misinterpreted her daughter’s expression. “I just like Spiderman, okay?”

“Uh, no, Mom. Spiderman is Marvel and Wonderwoman is DC. Charlotte had to explain that to me, too, so don’t feel bad.”

“I see. Well, let’s watch it then.”

Tina flipped the television over to the Cartoon Network just in time for the animated series to begin. Alice was glad that her daughter’s “show” was on the Cartoon Network rather than on HBO, MTV, or some other programming that might have questionable content, because, as it stood Tina was thirteen, but she had all the signs of being a twenty-something girl gone wild sometime within the next week or so.

The program began with a couple of climbers going up the side of a mesa somewhere in a desert in the States. When the couple crested to the top, there was an alien spacecraft there. Alice became more interested in the program.

The spacecraft began producing little probes that would self-replicate and their numbers began to increase nonlinearly.