Way of the Wolf: Straight Line Selling: Master the Art of Persuasion, Influence, and Success

By way of definition, psychologists describe desensitization as a diminished emotional response to an adverse stimuli after repeated exposure to it. In laymen’s terms, it simply means that we have a tendency to quickly get used to things.

For example, something that you would normally find wholly offensive—like being asked an invasive question by someone who you hardly know—will barely cause you to raise an eyebrow after just a few minutes of desensitization; and that’s especially true when it comes to someone gathering intelligence from you, as a result of the lubricating effect that comes from suddenly finding yourself in rapport with the person asking the questions.

Again, I can’t overestimate how crucial this distinction is to ensuring a successful outcome to an intelligence-gathering session.

Ignore it at your own peril.

Rule #5: Ask each question using the right tonality.

In Chapter 11, which details how to make a sales presentation, I will provide you with a list of big-picture questions that have been proven to work in any industry, along with their accompanying tonalities.

For now, what you need to understand is that each prospecting question will have its own “best” tonality, which maximizes the chance of your prospect giving you the most forthright answer, while also ensuring that you maintain rapport with them in the process. Conversely, if you apply the wrong tonality to your question, then your prospect will answer it in a perfunctory manner at best; and while you might not completely break rapport, you will certainly bring the level down a few notches.

Here’s a quick example.

Let’s say you’re a life insurance salesman, and you’re at the home of a prospect trying to close him on a whole life policy. Given that life insurance is a fear-based sale, it’s especially crucial that your intelligence-gathering effort not only uncovers his primary pain point but also amplifies it, as this will be the key to closing the sale.

To that end, here’s an example of an invasive question you might ask, to begin the process of ferreting out the source of his pain:

“So, John, all things considered, what’s your biggest fear right now with not having a life insurance policy in place? What’s really keeping you up at night?”

Now, imagine if you attached a callous, almost aggressive tone to those words, as if you were chastising him for being so foolish and irresponsible for not having adequate life insurance coverage in place.

It would be like you were saying to him, “So what’s your greatest fear, John? Tell me! Tell me! Come on! Let’s go! Tell me!”

Now, of course, you didn’t actually say those extra words—Tell me! Tell me! Come on! Let’s go! Tell me!—but that’s precisely what he heard as a result of tonality’s ability to add extra words onto our communications. And what he also heard was his own inner monologue saying, “This guy is a total asshole! He doesn’t care about me; he doesn’t feel my pain; and he’s not sympathetic to my plight.”

Alternatively, if you had used the “I care” tonality, along with “I feel your pain,” then the extra words your prospect would have heard would have said, “Wow, this guy really cares about me; he really genuinely wants to know.”

So, again, if you attach the wrong tonality to your question, it will cause you to break rapport with your prospect while also eating away at your credibility as an expert. Conversely, if you attach the right tonality to your question, it will cause an increase in the level of rapport while also reinforcing your position as an expert.

Remember, this applies to every question you ask during the intelligence-gathering phase. There are no “free” questions.

Rule #6: Use the correct body language as the prospect responds.

This too relates back to what I covered in the previous chapter, when I went through the body language principle of active listening—as well as distinction #4 of this chapter, where your ability to actively listen as your client answers your questions will serve as the linchpin strategy for building rapport as you move through the intelligence-gathering process, with your goal being to hit a high note as you prepare to transition into the main body of your sales presentation.

In consequence, you need to be absolutely vigilant about following all the active listening rules that I laid out for you in Chapter 8—starting on page 132. Below is an abbreviated list of the active listening techniques that you’ll most frequently use during the intelligence-gathering phase:

1Nodding your head while your prospect is speaking. This shows that you understand what they are saying and that you’re on the same page as them.